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How FRSC Helped Me Get The Girl


How FRSC Helped Me Get The Girl


I mean, who would have thought?


I had a date a few hours ago, so I cleaned up and freshened. It’s been a while I have been on any of those, so I might have applied too much cologne. A few minutes in the car and I knew I smelt like a corpse.


But I looked good and I knew it.


Besides, I was desperate to make an impression. The person I had a date with had reason to not like me – I had stood her up twice already.


Yeah yeah, I’m an asshole. Is it today?


But it wasn’t intentional. I just have this unpleasant habit of forgetting things like that – because I was committed to not being involved with anyone emotionally. So I would enjoy the company, smile politely, makes plans to meet –


And promptly forget about it.


I didn’t want a repeat. And I like her.


Kubura, I mean.


Anyways, there I was o, driving along Lagos – Ibadan Expressway, Usher crooning from the speakers, traffic free and all of that. In fact, I was shouting along to Usher’s ‘My Boo’ when I noticed an FRSC vehicle had cut into the lane in front of me. Before you could say ‘Road Safety’ I was flagged down.


I stopped, smiling confidently. I had all my particulars, I was wearing my safety belt (very unusual, but then women can make me do unusual things) – in fact I was grinning. When the marshal came up to my window, he was taken aback.


“Hello, officer. You want to see my papers, right?”


He smiled back (I have a charming smile; I’ve been told) and shook his head. “No o – not really. Your left side rear tire is wobbling, and at the speed you were going – “ He shook his head. “I just need to examine your tire expiration dates.”


Immediately I knew I was in trouble.


He turned and went to the rear of the car. Hastily I unbuckled my seat belt and exited the vehicle at the same time another marshal, a Kingpin-looking woman came out of their vehicle. I must have looked like her runaway husband because she snapped; “Oga! Let me see your particulars!”


I squeezed my mouth but said nothing; I just leaned into the car, opened the pigeonhole and handed the folder to her. Before she asked, I took out my cardholder and gave her my license.


And then, I went to look for the other guy.


He was crouched beside the front passenger tire, shaking his head. When he saw me approach he said; “This tire expired last year June. You should have changed it since.”


I was just about to express my ignorance when the woman bellowed; “Oga! Come here o, you’re driving with an expired license!”


Indeed it was – 23-06-2016.


She handed everything back to me but held on to the license. “Oya, enter his car,” she said to the tire-detector guy. “Alausa, straight!”


We were at Ogudu.


They had me. As I made to climb inside my car, I remembered my date. Kubura!


Quickly I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. It was Ngozi who answered; “We’re sorry, the number you’re calling is not able to receive calls…”


Impatiently I disconnected and tried again. Same Ngozi.


At the third try I got so incensed I yelled into the phone; “Don’t you have anything better to do?!”


The man beside me spoke dryly, “Oga, ah, ashually I do o. Plenty sef.”


I smiled half-heartedly. “Ashually, I wasn’t talking to you.” Gunning the engine, I started to put the car and in drive. And then I remembered what Kubura said to me when I called her the day yesterday;


“Shey you know third time’s the charm? If you like, don’t come.”


I looked at the man beside me and turned off the engine. He looked at me curiously.


“Bros, I cannot lie to you, there’s somewhere important I need to be. While I cannot ask you not to do your job – especially since madam is the one giving orders, I don’t know if you can help me.”


I started to explain my predicament to him – and then his phone rang.


He took the call and started speaking. “No o ma, he’s cooperating o. It’s just – maybe you should come, ma.”


There was some more talking and then he hung up. At the same time, the shotgun door of their car opened and out she climbed. I couldn’t hold back a chuckle as the car rose several inches. And then she was barreling towards me so I swallowed it.


“Yes, oga what is the problem?” She asked, frowning heavily. I wanted to point out that the frown didn’t help her looks at all – but I need her on my side. So quickly I explained the situation to her. The more I explained, the heavier her frown got. When I finished, she looked at me, sniffed and said;


“So it is because you want to go and meet gehl, that’s why you baff in perfume? You’re now gentle now. Anyway, are you suggesting that we let you go?”


I shook my head and smiled my most charming. “At all ma,” I said. “I’m just saying you can allow Officer..” I looked at his name tag. “…Officer Jimi follow me so I can make my excuses to the girl. And then, I will surrender the car and myself.”


She wrinkled her nose. “And where is this place?”


“Yaba ma.”


“Ehn? Yaba! You think you’re sharp, shebi? Or is it that you think we’re jobless?”


“I think nothing of the sort, ma. I was just – “


“Oga, leave story with that your ashawo smile. Don’t worry – we will follow you. And if there is no gehl – “ She shook her head and I could see she was already feeling sorry for me. “…if there is no gehl, you will be sadder than Hilary Clinton.”


I wanted to ask if it was her daughter that told her about Hilary losing the election because I’m sure she couldn’t have found out for herself; I was that upset. But caution overcame my recklessness; caution and the need to see Kubura. I watched as she walked off, got into the car and signaled me to follow.


It was surreal; me driving to a date escorted by the FRSC – but there was no way around it. I persisted trying Kubura’s number while Officer Jimi did his best to look sympathetic. A couple of times I could see he wanted to ask me questions so I frowned heavily and mumbled underneath my breath.


That discouraged him alright.


We were at Jibowu when my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID, it was Kubura. Quickly I connected the call.


“Hello?” I said. Fortunately, my phone is connected to my car speakers so my companion was as much a part of the conversation as I was.


“Where are you? Have you stood me up again? I swear – “


“Excuse me ma, calm down,” Officer Jimi interrupted her. “He got in some trouble with the FRSC, that’s what delayed him. But we’re on our way to you now.”


There was silence from the other end of the phone – and then, a subdued Kubura spoke; “’We’? Who is that with you?” And then, her voice became heavy with worry. “Are you in trouble, babe?”


She called me babe.


“Nothing I can’t handle. Can you do me a small favor?”


“Anything,” she said.


We were now driving into Yaba proper. “I am about three minutes away. Would you mind terribly waiting outside? I don’t want to walk in there looking for you alongside three marshals. I just want to see you – and then go with them.”


“Oh – Okay, I will.”


“Thank you,” I said. “See you shortly.” And hung up.


From the corner of my eye I looked at Officer Jimi. His face was just as unconcerned as a corpse at a burial- I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Sighing softly, I followed the blue and white car into the street that would take me to the e-centre.


There was space out in front, and so as I was easing in line behind the car, I spotted my date, Kubura, looking like Agbani Darego when she became Ms. World. She wore a black dress that clung to her without being form-fitted, and I wondered if I was in my right mind all this while, standing up someone like that.


I had barely opened the door before she hugged me. “Are you okay?” she asked breathlessly. “Shey they didn’t – they didn’t do anything to you, did they?” She was peering at my face and body.


I smiled. “I think you’re mistaking them for another uniform-wearing agency,” I said. “Such is not their way.”


I didn’t know madam had gotten out of their car and was standing beside us till she spoke; “So you’re the one he’s coming to meet, ehn?” She looked Kubura over critically. “I can see why he would forget his license has expired. Make sure he renews it before you marry him.”


“Ye…yes ma,” Kubura stuttered as Madam shoved my license at me. “Take and take care of her! Jimi!”


Jimi hurried up. “Yes ma?”


“Move out!”


Jimi smiled at me. “Buy a new tire too, bros.”


And I swear, just like a military something, they marched after each other, got back in their car and drove off. Kubura and I stood there for a minute staring after them.


And then, she took my hand.


“So you came to see me despite…” She let her words trail off.


“Well, I was determined to correct my last two impressions – and I wasn’t going to let anything stop me.”


She held my hand tightly and leaned her head on my shoulder as we started to walk into the E-centre. “Ehen, mummy told me not to like a writer o. They can sweet talk for Nigeria,” she said, smiling.


“Well, there is hope for both of us now. You see, just before I left the house I stopped writing. Right now, I am a storyteller.” I looked down at her. “Shey you want me to tell you the story of your beauty?”


She replied – but it wasn’t with words.


You might have seen us – if you were around Ozone to see Dr. Strange today, you would have seen a couple behaving as though they were the only ones in the country. And honestly, I felt like that, and I have no doubt she did too.


And I have the FRSC to thank for that.


Movie Review: The Nice Guys Finish First!



When I hear the name Shane Black, first thing that comes to mind is Iron Man 3. Only reason(s) I liked that movie were 1) Another chance to see Downey Jr. do his thing, and 2) Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin.


Utter fan boy moment.


But then, the boy Shane has quite the resume – if you’ve been watching movies long before Hugh Jackman became an X Man, that is. Appearing in his first acting role in 1986 film Night Creeps (like there’s such a thing as Morning Freaks) and writing Lethal Weapon I & II, Last Boy Scout, Last Action Hero & The Long Kiss Goodnight (I would have said the boy has a thing for Ls if not for his several other works including directorial debut Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) among others.


But if I’m mad at Shane for IM3, I’m too willing to forgive him after this great movie.






I love Ryan Gosling. He’s an amazing actor with great range, he’s incredibly good looking and he dresses sharp. He’s like the modern day Paul Newman; never with a hair out of place. Watching him and Clooney in The Ides of March I was hard put to choose who was better eye candy.


Russell Crowe is another of my special guys – range; but I prefer the growling and scowling Crowe (leave Gladiator watch LA Confidential to get my point). Personal choice. I love dude.


Now, imagine these two guys in a movie. And not just any movie; a movie with enough twists and turns and naked women to rival a Chase novel.


Movie opens with a kid (Ty Simpkins; great kid) sneaking in his sleeping parents’ room and pulling a girlie mag from underneath the bed. Pay real close attention here and for the rest of the movie.


He opens the mag and stares at a naked girl with great breasts; she’s a porn star called Misty Mountains. Suddenly, through the window behind the kid we see a car careen off the highway and through the living room and down into the valley.


We follow Ty as he goes to investigate the crash – and a close up affords us the ID of the driver; Misty M, same girl kid was just looking at. The dying star, naked as she was for the most part of her life is lying on her back on a rock. She notices him, smiles through a bloodied mouth and asks; ‘how do you like my car?’ and then she coughs and dies. The boy is staring – but then, sirens start blaring and he takes off his pajama top and covers the naked woman.


For some reason, I teared up at that point.


Set in 1977 (fucking attention to detail; try not to miss a billboard advertising Jaws 2, a movie released in 1978 I don old!), the movie follows two hapless private eyes Crowe (Jackson Healy) and Gosling (Holland March) as they try to find a girl named Amelia who interestingly initially hired Crowe to dissuade anyone following her including Gosling. And that’s how the two as-unalike-as-two-snowflakes detectives meet.


The movie offers an interesting plot (very similar to Chase’s novel A Whiff of Money), something as simple as a disappeared girl leading to corruption in really high places, at least as far as 1977 Detroit is concerned.




Angourie Rice is a show-stealer here as Gosling’s March’s young daughter Holly. From the first time you meet her; she’s on her way into the house and bumps into Crowe who just beat up her father, you can’t help but love her. She looks Crowe in the eye and asks, “What do you do?” I really can’t remember his response but her next line is; “How much would you charge to beat up my friend Janet?” She stole my heart.


She’s reason enough to watch the movie over and over.


March is a drunk but she loves him – as evidenced when she sees Healy again and glares at him. “You beat up my dad!” she says accusingly and the self-conscious Healy mumbles a response. A family tragedy set March on a drinking and smoking bend; he’s all but given up on life. Kim Basinger, looking unusually clean here (I suspect she’s gone under the needle recently) comes in a I-love-Detroit to death US Department of Justice official who wants to hire the guys to do what they were going to do anyway; find her daughter. There’s a scene in which she has her checkbook out and she’s scribbling Ten Thousand Dollars to hire the guys. March blabs and says “This kind of job costs a lot…something like five thousand dollars.” The sharp woman quickly tears up the check and writes another one, this time with five thousand dollars.


Too mush talking at times is wahala.



onstage during the 88th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre on February 28, 2016 in Hollywood, California.

onstage during the 88th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre on February 28, 2016 in Hollywood, California.

TNG_Day_#41_01222015-172.dng The-Nice-Guys-3 The-Nice-Guys-Movie-Review-Image-6


It’s the chemistry between the unlikely lead characters that load up the movie and make it so much fun. March is the mouth; charming as only Gosling can be, wearing the sharpest of 1977 suits and shirts, flirting with ladies and interrogating mermaids in in-house pools. Healy is the muscle; roughening up a reluctant hotel lobby attendant and saying; “We can do this the easy way – (grabs attendant’s tie and slams his head into the desk)…well, that was the easy way…”


Of course, you know the guy just has to blab after that.


The Nice Guys is a great movie; right balance of humor, action and emotion to just make your girl hold you a bit tighter afterwards.


And if you saw the movie with your guy…well.


Be Nice.

Movie Review: Walk The Road of Yesterday Today

Okay. I admit. I have missed Genevieve. The last time I saw her on screen was the movie Ije – and that was a big deal to me because it featured Omotola too. But she (Genevieve) had enough time to herself on screen, so there was enough to last me for a while.
So I have been getting high off fumes from Ije for almost three years. Of course, I didn’t realize it till I was watching her latest effort, Road To Yesterday.



Imagine that.


Road to Yesterday is based on a story by Genevieve herself, with screenplay by Ishaya Bako (who also directed) and Emil Garuba. A story about a dysfunctional marriage, Road to Yesterday is a sure tear-jerker for the weaker person; male or female.


Victoria (Genevieve) returns from a trip to the UK for her husband’s uncle’s funeral. There is some undisclosed tension between Vicky and her hubby Izu (played with stiff detachment by Oris Ehuero); some issue Victoria keeps asking them to talk about. She arrives the house, offers to cook the man dinner. He not only shuns her, he walks out of the house and tells her to be ready by six the following morning, when they’ll be driving down to Izu’s village for the ceremony.




The trip starts earlier than anticipated, with Izu returning from a night drinking with the boys. Vicky insists on driving; he surrenders the car keys and they start to leave.


How they got their luggage into the car is beyond me. But I digress.


Their journey is interspersed with flashbacks; how they met, how they started dating and how much of the typical male Izu was. What is good for the gander is good for the goose apparently; as she steps out on him on the night of her birthday because she had gone to his office earlier to meet him wrapped around his secretary.
Excuse me; but this is a much-required digression: I need to sit with our esteemed Nollywood actors; because they apparently are the only males in the world who can make women moan and scream just by burying their faces in their necks. I mean.


That’s an art I must learn. End of digression.


So; Vicky stepped out on Izu on her birthday night, with her friend’s cousin who had introduced her to Izu in the first place; with devastating consequences. Izu comes to his senses and asks Vicky to marry him the morning after.


But some things cannot be changed; as we found out.




It’s a depressing movie; with the ambiance and dialogue and everything pointing towards impending doom. You keep getting the feeling that the characters are heading for some kind of irredeemable end- yet you cannot stop watching.


Product placements are in a couple of scenes, but if anything they enhance the story very much unlike we’re used to; like watching a full-length Glo ad in a movie by a certain renown director. The scenes are well-shot, camera angles are smooth and sleek. It is definitely a visual candy.


Long, and in some cases unnecessary scenes and stiff, choppy dialogue makes the movie a slow meal – but like mentioned before, camera angles, sharp editing and almost-flawless acting more than make for the lapses. Chigurl shines; once again as Vicky’s bosom pal and ride or die chick. A cute little girl plays Genevieve’s daughter – and they combine to make Road to Yesterday a memorable, if sparse watch.
Road to Yesterday is showing at Ozone Cinemas at the following times:
Show Times:
Fri-Thur: 5:15pm

Movie Review: Beasts Of No Nation Has A Home


I recall one of K’Naan’s songs in which he was talking about gangsters, making fun of the gangsters he saw in the states. And he was talking about how those gangsters should travel to Somalia where they would meet kids who have been gangbanging since they were twelve; kids who have killed more people than I’ve had meals.


Maybe a tad exaggerated but – you get the point.


Beasts of No Nation feels like that.




An angry, uncompromising yet hopeful film, Beasts of no Nation is adapted from a novel by Uzodinma Iweala, son of Dr. Ngozi Okonji-Iweala, which in turn takes its name from Fela’s 1989 album of same name, which also happens to be my favorite Fela track of all time.


But I digress.


The movie has won two awards, The Marcello Maestroianni award at the 72 Venice film festival and the National Board Review award in Breakthrough Performance for Abraham Attah, lead actor who plays Agu. The movie and Attah and Elba are still on several waiting award lists – with Idris himself bagging an Oscar nomination for best actor in a supporting role.

The movie is about a boy, Agu, growing up with his family in an unnamed African town, the mischief he gets into with his brother whose only ambition is to sleep with some girl. Brother works out, dances – all in a bid to get said girl’s attention. Agu on the other hand keeps wondering what soldiers (ECOMOG soldiers, amended as ECOMOD) are doing in their town and what will become of them.


All too suddenly everything changes as war is declared on the village with the country’s military sent to occupy. Agu’s father manages to buy safe passage for his mother and sister, so he has to stay with his brother and father to protect their land.


The military invades and takes Agu, his father and brother and calls them spies. They’re lined up to be killed, but his father tells him and his brother to run. As they run, he sees his father shot – and then his brother.


And then, we are introduced to the rebel commandant AKA Idris Elba.




The man who got critical acclaim for playing Stringer Bell in one of the highest rated TV series of all time; The Wire is his charismatic finest here. He is a violent, unapologetic warrior whose purpose and goals become confused as the movie progresses.


And he got an Oscar nomination for his role in this one. Finally.


Beasts of No Nation is a raw, honest movie about war; the horrors, cost and purpose of it, how many die to protect the selfish interests of few. The commandant kept stressing “We do it for our people” but at some point they sack a civilian town, murdering hundreds and hundreds of innocents. Agu continuously questions God, because his father told him, “When things like this happen, you have to be strong. It is God testing us.”


Few moments later, he is dead.


Further into the movie (which is narrated by Agu in voiceover), he says, “Mother, it is you I talk to now because God isn’t listening.”


Beasts of No Nation is intense and gripping, a tightly-wound narrative that follows the rise and fall of ambition as personified by Elba’s commandant. There is a scene in which Agu makes his first kill, a very graphic scene and not for the fainthearted. The commandant asks him; “Have you chopped watermelon before? Oya chop chop!”




The boy soldiers are strong characters; my personal favorite being a mute kid named Strika. Strika is the one who the commandant marks Agu for; together they are in the Commandant’s personal detail. They also share something else in common – something I suggest you see the movie to find out. There’s one guy who was nude through most of the movie – who finally wore pants only to die. A friend who saw the movie with me kept asking “Are you sure they casted these guys?” in reference to the Commandant’s rebel forces – or the NDF.


They look so real; thrown together by desperation yet bound together by love – or what passes for it. The tragedy of this movie is we watch and are being entertained by the reality of some children who grow old before they grow up.


I suggest that the fellas do this without the ladies, except you have a few pieces of tissue handy and are prepared to be clawed to pieces. Beasts of No Nation is impressive, saddening yet hopeful at the same time.


Do not see any other movie after this. Just come home, hug madam/bros if you have one, pour out some liquor if you’re on your own.


And be grateful for your life and simple pleasures; like enjoying a movie at the cinema.



Beasts of No Nation is showing at Ozone Cinemas.


Show Times:

Fri-Thur: 11:50am, 4:15pm, 6:00pm, 8:20pm


Saving Dapo X


Read previous episodes here.



SAVING DAPO - Masthead 10




“I’m pregnant.”

Dapo sounded bored. “Really? And how did that happen – by diffusion or osmosis?”

Yemisi’s chest rose and fell in time with her sigh. “You could have at least played along and said ‘congratulations! Who’s the father?’
“Em…why would I ask that, knowing well I’m your guy? Na dat kain question dey cause wahala jare.”

“You’re too serious jo! Lighten up o, and besides I’m quite the bad girl o.”

She liked the sound of his laughter. “Trust me, there are easier ways to prove you’re a bad girl than getting pregnant for someone else,” he said.

She also liked the small shiver that ran down her back at his words. “Like?” she asked.

“Like you don’t know.” There was some static and then his voice came back clearer. “You’re a beautiful woman, Yemisi Adeoba.”

“You’re not too shabby yourself, Oladapo Ojo,” Yemisi answered, grinning happily. “I still don’t know how to say ‘thank you’ for the wedding gig.”

“Some more of those your kisses would do just fine,” Dapo responded.

Yemisi winced as she unconsciously pulled several strands of her hair along with the hairclip she’d just removed. “You know you don’t have to ask too hard.”

Network is just so clear tonight.

There was a slapping sound from Dapo’s end of the conversation. “What’s that, baby?” Yemisi asked.

“Mosquitoes. Giant humongous ones.” As though to affirm what he was saying, the sound came again.

Yemisi clapped a hand over her mouth to hold down the laughter threatening to burst lose.

“You can laugh – it’s okay,” He definitely had a smile on his face. “Still trying to figure out how they got in.”

After things were a bit quiet, Dapo asked, “So how’s things at work?”

“They’re okay love,” She stopped and looked at her toenails. They winked a deep purple and she smiled. “I’m getting a bit tired of it sha – especially one annoying loudmouth colleague of mine.”

“You know what to do sha,” He suddenly sounded down.

“What is it?”

There was a long pause. “Nothing. I just remembered something – “

“Nothing – something. If it’s enough to affect your voice while you’re talking with me, it’s something enough to matter. Oya tell me.”

“Dating 101: never discuss the ex with the new girl. It’s something to do with Mope…”

“Last week was her wedding,” Yemisi finished for him. “Oh Dapo, of course that’s something. I don’t expect you to just forget her like that now.”

“I have no business thinking about her. That’s that.” He stopped.

“Okay,” Yemisi began. “How do you feel about Robocop?”

Well, I’d like to see it – if that’s what you’re asking.”

She smiled. “I have two tickets – Friday, 6:40 pm.”


“It’s a date.”

“Goodnight, Dapo.”






“The client asked for a revert on the campaign which we shared last year before we left,” Yemisi hated the way she was sounding defensive. “I wonder what’s going on in there.”

“When did you share this revert?” the CEO asked.

“Thursday 20th.”

“I didn’t get any mails to that effect o,” the CEO’s fingers danced on the screen of his iPad. “Yes…yes…no,” he said, fingers punching – and then turned to Yemisi. “I didn’t see any mail to that effect,” he repeated.

“I got a mail,” Adura raised her hand. “She copied me and the creative team.”

The CEO looked over to where the creative team looked like clothes draped over the backs of chairs. One by one, they nodded.

“But you’re supposed to share with me,” he remarked as he turned back to Yemisi, his voice noticeably softer and kinder. “If you had, I would have known what to tell that rude Indian.”

She mentally exhaled. The worst was over.

“I’m sorry sir. I guess I was distracted the last few days of work…”

“It’s not work jo,” Fred interrupted. “She suddenly found herself a boyfriend, though why any guy in his right mind would –“

All the pent up fear and frustration came out of Yemisi by way of a calm remark; “If you have nothing sensible to say, shut your mouth or I’ll come over there and make sure you don’t open it again – ever.”

Fred looked as if he had suddenly found out the shy neighborhood Bingo had grown teeth and could bite.

Amidst loud laughter the CEO who had a smile on his face raised his hand.

“That’s okay. Adura, you’ll be coming with me to speak with these guys. I think it’s time we’re clear on what we’re doing with them. That will be all.”





“About time you served that Fred some of his own medicine,” Adura whispered once they were out of the conference room.

Yemisi nodded, adrenaline surge still pulsing through her body. Would I actually have gone over to make good on my threat?

“But would you really have gone over there? You wouldn’t have, would you?”

Smiling at the other girl, Yemisi responded, “Honestly, I don’t know.” She paused. “And I don’t think I want to find out.”

Richard, a graphic artist touched Yemisi’s shoulder and snatched his hand away. Blowing on his fingers, he retreated towards his seat, grinning.

“Smoking hot! O gbona feli feli,” he muttered.

Both women laughed.






“Yemisi,” Felicia spoke two octaves higher than normal. “There’s…there’s a Remi here to see you.”

“Where’s he –“ Yemisi started and sighed as the click of a disconnected intercom sounded.

Pushing back her chair, she stood up and turned, almost bumping into Fred. He seemed to shrink.

She patted his shoulder, smiled briefly and continued towards the lobby.

Who is this Remi…Remi? It sounded familiar, like the name of a movie she’d only seen once but liked a lot. I’ll find out in about ten seconds, she told herself as she pushed through the double doors that led into the lobby.

And stopped.

A deep red flush covered Yemisi’s face and her ears started tingling, a strange reaction going by the commonplace picture that met her eyes.

A tall guy, average build was standing in front of Felicia’s desk, smiling in amusement at Felicia who looked as though she was staring at Tuface. Or Banky W. Or Iyanya.

But it was really the guy who held her attention.

He noticed her and straightened, his smile taking on depth. For some reason it pleased her to see him smile that way, and she mentally chided herself.

Of course she knew him. It was the guy from Tantalizers.


“How did you find me?” she asked.

“I er…I followed you that day. Just as far as the entrance though.” He chuckled. “I didn’t want to freak you out.”

“And why were you following me – why would you want to know where I work?”

Remi looked at Yemisi as though she had grown a beard. “You cannot seriously be asking me that. Why else would a guy be following a girl?”

He interrupted as she was about to speak. “And don’t talk about Twitter.”

After they both stopped laughing, Yemisi answered as she touched his arm lightly. “Well Romeo, I have a – I’m in a serious relationship.”

She almost winced at the 350 watt smile Remi was emitting. A smile like that cannot be natural. It cannot!

“I would be so disappointed if you said you were single. It cannot be that easy now, can it?”

“But I’m serious,” Yemisi said. “I am in a committed relationship and I’d rather not have any distractions.” She folded her arms and frowned at him. “Where have you been since – what if I didn’t remember you?”

“I travelled for about a month – but I didn’t forget you. I thought it was one of things that eventually goes away – you know, boy meets girl for a moment and puff,” he snapped his fingers. “It’s done.

“But I was wrong. I couldn’t forget you so I decided to come find you. I got back last night. And as for forgetting me – I’d have helped you remember.”

He lifted the box he was carrying. “Won’t you take this? It’s just sweets o, nothing diabolical.”

She shook her head. “Too early, but thank you. Maybe next time…”

“Oh. So there’s going to be a next time!”

She smiled in that woman’s sweetly secretive way and stood up. “Sure, if you want. You can always come looking for me here – whenever you’re around.”

Remi grinned. “Can I at least get a – “ Yemisi’s head-shaking stopped him mid-sentence.

“No calls. Not yet anyways. Do come again,” she said and walked into her office, smiling over her shoulder.

“Okay!” Remi yelled after her.






She was dialing Dapo’s number for the second time in three minutes when the quiet ‘PING’ of a text message interrupted the ringing in her ear. After listening for a while and her boyfriend still did not pick, she looked at the phone screen.

It was an alert from her bank.

Heart quickening, she opened the message and saw three and a half million naira had been deposited into her account by one Chidi Ighweh.

Three and a half million naira. She stopped breathing for a moment.

Even her heart seemed to stop beating.



Oh Dapo, she screamed mentally, Friday’s on me.