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Deadpool 2 Review: Wade Wilson Wins Again.

It’s funny how things change.

As close as half a decade ago, the memory anyone had of the merc-with-a-mouth is a messed up X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie that sucked.

Sucking more was the second appearance of a certain Wade Wilson, played with mourn-worthy silence by the always-great-recently-rewarded Ryan Reynolds. We hated that Deadpool worse than we hated the lame use of a ‘Lagos’ I didn’t recognize, worse than we hated the whole movie.

These days however, a mention of the D (I don’t mean Deathstroke either) gets a recognition – either love or hate.

The first movie in 2016 was a sleeper hit, making an impressive 720 million dollars in its box office run off a 50 million budget. The sequel was greenlit two weeks into the run.

And it’s a salute long time coming.

This second time around, the whole team decides switch the action up a notch. What else would you expect from one half the team who directed John Wick?!

That’s the ONLY movie I’m anticipating by the way.

Wade Wilson, in an act of uncharacteristic selflessness, decides to recruit a team and save a young mutant confused about his powers. That’s the gist of the sequel. However, it’s at the cost of a lot of heads and legs and limbs and unmentionables.

Ryan Reynolds is in top form, bringing the humor and snarky comebacks/one-liners at a maximum. Josh Brolin’s Cable is a lot less charismatic than his Thanos, but not less deadly. He growls and raves and squints – but at no point do you forget he’s a soldier grizzled by war. Zazie Beetz’ Domino is having too much fun – and so is our cabbie-turned-barfly (I’ve forgotten his name). The other X-Force guys are pretty much cannon fodder. You’ll see why.

The premise makes little sense; for a time-traveler Cable can’t figure out the smartest way to go about what he needs to do. Time traveling movies depend a bit too much on the viewer’s suspension of disbelief abilities – Cable is capable but a Terminator he’s not.

There’s a lot of action but the emotional weight the movie tries to bring in is stumped somewhere between a Wade who doesn’t know when to shut up and a literal anti-climax. Another issue is figuring out who exactly the bad guy in the movie is – the role kept changing hands.

All in all, go see this in the cinema. No amount you spend watching it is too much – however, the fact that I’m writing a review after seeing it just once should tell you something – if you follow my reviews, that is. And stay for the many, many, post-credit scenes as only Deadpool can deliver.

Verdict: Great weekend starter.

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Young Female Writers Wanted.

 

No, it’s not an ad. Well, not in the way you’re thinking.

 

Truth is, there’s no better time than right now to be a female writer. Why?

 

So YMCA Lagos decides to do a short story competition for young female writers. And it is simple and straight forward – it is a simple encouragement/opportunity to speak up, tell your stories and let your voices be heard.

 

Don’t take my word for it tho. Check out the flyer below:

 

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So – let me not ask the obvious but – what are you still reading for?!

 

Thank you.


Write Right Right Now!

 

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What makes a good story?

This and a lot other questions are what me and some of the most brilliant literary minds around will be answering at an intense one-day creative writing workshop. Tagged ‘The SWA Creative Writing Workshop’ and organized by the SW Advantage Resources in partnership with Okadabooks. Featuring an extensive who’s who list of writing, it is guaranteed to be quite the experience. I myself will be teaching on Creative Fictional Prose. 

 

Peep details below!

WORKSHOP OVERVIEW
Date: 26th May, 2018
Time: 9am to 4pm
Venue: Somewhere within the VI/Lekki axis.
Aim: To give creative writers the opportunity to learn from some of the best literary minds in Nigeria in an environment where they can interact freely, ask questions and as much as possible, seal profitable deals.
We are particular about helping them realize that creative writing is a big deal and they should be able to project that feeling of importance to the society and their clients.
Program Highlights:
1. Breakout workshops for each genre.
Each session will last for 90mins and all the sessions will run concurrently so participants can attend only one session. However, we hope you will have training content that can be gifted to every participant.
2. Panel session on writing profitably in Africa. Here, all members of the faculty will be asked questions (by the audience and host) designed to help us learn how to profit from our writing skills in Africa. Your invaluable experience will be an asset here.
3. Panel session on traditional publishing, online publishing, editing and marketing.
4. Networking session. Over lunch, while taking pictures and almost throughout the event, we hope to create an atmosphere for participants to loosen up and connect with you.
Our Faculty:
Efe Paul Azino (poetry),
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Wole Oguntokun (stage play),
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Tomide Olukuade (non-fiction prose),
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Madonna Robinson (screen writing)
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And yours truly;
Flyer_Seun
Panelists:
Okechukwu Ofili (Book marketing),
Edirin Edewor (Online publishing),
Ini Akpan (Editing),
Jite Efemuaye (Traditional publishing).
A number of interesting bonuses are also included!!!
Fee: #65,000 Early bird – #50,000
Register HERE.

Avengers 4 Plot or How I Bring Them Back

 

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‘Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives’.

With those ominous words Thanos introduces himself in the much-heralded Avengers Infinity War, ten years in the making. Standing in the smoking and smoldering pile of what was once the remainder of Asgard, the mad titan makes an entrance that rivals narcissist Stark on his best day.

 

For the next heart-pumping (or heart-rending, depending on how you choose to see it) minutes, Thanos goes through our favorite characters like a sandstorm through the desert, decimating folk like a shredder does paper. He beats the jolly green giant so bad he (Hulk) doesn’t want to come out ever again. He sacrifices the one person he professes love for, Gamora, his daughter for the Soul Stone, and destroys Vision much like the bot we refuse to accept that he is – but which he really is.  If truly, Thanos is destiny as he described himself in one scene in the movie, then there’s nothing bright and hopeful about destiny.

It is gloomy, destructive and uncaring.

True, the purpose is balancing a clearly-overburdened galaxy which Thanos undertakes with a determination and focus that puts the best of our so-called world savers to shame. Clearly the star of the movie, Thanos has a gravitas that makes him the most superior of Marvel villains and the second-best onscreen comic villain in over fifty years of comic movies.

More on that later.

The focus, for now however is what direction the sequel is likely to take. And here, we get into the spoilers.

 

Avengers-Infinity-War-Iron-Man-Robert-Downey-JrAvengers 4 is the end for Downey Jr. as Stark – Best case scenario, he does what Pepper has been asking him to for over ten movies; hang up the armor, marry and start a family of smaller Starks (Morgan, anyone?).

Worst case scenario: he dies fighting Thanos – and NO ONE will forgive Marvel for that.

 

 

Stark is important in defeating Thanos – In a particular scene, Strange is magicking and when they ask what he’s doing, he says he went into the future to see if they win. Of the millions of scenarios he peeked into, they only won one.

Earlier in the film, he tells Stark if it came down to choosing between saving him (Stark), his ward (Spider-Man) and keeping the Time Stone away from Thanos, he would not hesitate to let them die. Yet, after Thanos got one in heavy on Mr. Stark and is about to kill him, Strange gives up the stone after Thanos agree to spare Stark. My theory is in the one scenario where they win, Strange sees Stark is important to defeating Thanos so he gives up the stone in a pyrrhic victory scenario.

 

AAA

 

Avengers 4 is also the last time we’ll see a lot of the originals – After Thanos gets the last stone from Vision’s head, he does the one thing he meant to do all along; snap his fingers (off-screen) and obliterates half the universe. They don’t show him doing it; however we see people slowly begin to disintegrate. Off go Black Panther, Spider-Man, Falcon, Bucky, Star Lord, Groot, Scarlet Witch, Dr. Strange, Mantis, Drax, Nick Fury, Maria Hill – to wherever it is comic characters go when another cosmic-powered comic character snaps his fingers. The thing about those who left VS those who stayed is the former is composed mostly of people who just started their MCU Spider-Man has at least one more movie after Avengers 4. Same goes for Black Panther. Same for The Guardians, and, if I’m correct, Dr. Strange. Besides, I’m quite sure about Ant Man and Wasp becoming part of Avengers 4. So, I won’t be too unduly worried about those guys.

They’ll be fine.

 

 

The post-credit scene ending has nothing to do with the Captain Marvel movie – At least, that’s what the facts as we have them now say. According to gist coming out of Hollywood, the first Captain Marvel movie will be set in the 90s, so there’s little chance of Infinity Anything showing up in there. However, I’m quite sure she’ll be a major part of Avengers 4 – hence Nick sending out that distress signal. I’d like to know tho – how the hell does a clearly analog device display colors like that?!

Hell. Nick is the super-spy, no?

 

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Iron Man and Captain America will reunite – That one’s a no-brainer. I mean, Stark had to at least know there would be some of the good guys left on earth. The first thing would be to rally the forces, take a head count and know what the odds on their parts are. And the first step in that would be to reconcile with Steve – even though his ego would want to get in the way.

 

 

There’s going to be the granddaddy of all smackdowns with Thanos in the middle: Even though the ending shows Thanos ‘retiring’ in a quiet corner of the galaxy, sitting and watching the sun set, somehow the Avengers interfering and bringing everyone back will be sufficient enough to make him put on the gauntlet again. And he’s definitely getting into it with the larger Avengers team – all at the same time.

 

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Those are my theories as far as the final Avengers movie goes. What’s yours?

 

Thank you for visiting!


Freebies: Dumb Things In Infinity War.

 

 

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Some things that made no sense to me in Avengers Infinity War:

 

If you hate spoilers, do not proceed beyond this point. You have been warned.

 

  1. How did Heimdall, who can see all nine realms, not see Thanos coming?
  2. What happened to Korg, Valkyrie and Miek?
  3. Why did Heimdall choose to save Banner?
  4. How did he know Dr. Strange’s address?
  5. Why was Black Widow/Steve surprised to see Banner? He called them, no?
  6. Why did Thor need a new hammer? Did Thanos’ punches make him forget what Odin said in Ragnarok?
  7. Really, who send Thanos?
  8. Why did Thor need a new eye?
  9. Again, what the fuck was Red Skull doing in Infinity War?!
  10. Strange could have ended that fight in over a million ways. A simple one; why didn’t he do to Thanos what he did to Dormamu?

 

Please, if you have a better explanation that ‘plot armour’, do share. And if you have some other things that also made little/no sense to you, please share too.

PPS: If DC committed a third of the atrocities this movie is guilty of, na Zack Snyder and im family alone go watch am. Bias much?

 


Avengers Infinity War Spoiler-free Review: 10 Years Worth!

Ten years in the making. Ten years in the waiting.

 

Is it worth it?

Directores-de-Avengers-Infinity-War-mandan-carta-abierta-respecto-a-spoilers-Atomix

 

Well…630 million dollars (as of this morning) would say so!

From the moment Robert Downey Jr. donned the Iron Man suit, we’ve been made to feel like this is the moment we’ve been waiting for – even though that isn’t true. However, it could be because that 2008 movie marked the first time an Iron-suited Avenger would appear on the big screen – but that wasn’t the biggest clue.

The biggest tip was a certain post-credit scene.

Anyways, after 18 films and roughly 114/15 billion dollars in profit on a 3.7 or billion budget, Marvel decides to bring their 10-year plan to a climax.

Roll out the drums for Avengers: Infinity War.

 

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It’s simple really. Uncle Big-Bad Thanos who spent the last 10 years (or 18 films, depending on how you look at it) sending acolytes to gather the Infinity Stones finally decides it’s time to step up to the plate and serve himself. Or, as he so clearly put it in the Age of Ultron post-credit scene, ‘If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself’. So he decides to go around the galaxy to gather the stones and then, right the scales of reality – a task he elected to do himself – or at least, with help from his genetically enhanced alien henchmen The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Ebony Maw (the talkative), Cull Obsidian & Curvus Glaive – read a comic!).

What follows is a throw down of galactic proportions.

 

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Random strands of events conspire to bring our heroes together and splitting them in two factions – Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, Spider Man on one team, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Black Panther, Scarlett not-so-witchy Witch, Vision, Okoye, Black Widow, Falcon in another. Together, they form the resistance trying to stop Thanos from his goal – annihilation of half the galaxy’s population – one team engaging with him directly, the other team trying to stop him from getting the last stone.

How well that went is anyone’s guess.

For me, Thanos was the show-stealer here. I remember watching an interview in which Josh Brolin, the man who did voice and motion capture for the huge titan and also plays Cable in the coming Deadpool 2 said he had more fun playing Thanos than Cable. It took seeing this movie for me to understand and agree with that sentiment. As far as bad guys go, Thanos makes a compelling argument for the award for The Best Villain In Comic Movies. Personally, only one villain outshines him –

Again; your guess.

Of the many, many things to like in this movie, how everything came together is the best part for me. The Thor, Loki, Hulk, Heimdall narrative was well done and compelling as an opener and a setup for what was to come – but even then, nothing can prepare you.

 

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The cast inhabit their characters well, as much as I dislike Elizabeth Olsen’s Wanda, she had a more prominent role than usual – and that was good for her. It was nice to see the Captain not be in uniform and yet, never more ‘captain’ than in his moments. I wanted more of a reunion between Black Widow and you-know-who – but I didn’t get it. Time?

Of course, Downey’s Stark is still quite an important part of the whole thing – and never more important than when Strange surrenders something and his only explanation is ‘There was no other way’. If you can’t work it out yourself, chill. I got you – shortly.

I also liked seeing Tom Holland more as Spidey than Peter. I have made it clear before; his Peter Parker doesn’t much work for me, but his Spider Man, the tiny hero with the heart of gold who always tries to do what’s right – he is a winner. Check out the Iron Spider suit!!!

One of the things that irks me about Marvel movies is how sometimes they try to retain the character’s comic truth – but can’t be bothered to put it in the narrative so they mention it in passing.

Case in point: Gammora.

 

Through the first two Guardians movies and even now, in Infinity War, we’re constantly beaten over the head with how she is ‘the most ferocious woman in the galaxy’ and in the comics, this was/is true. Gammora’s exploits are the stuff of legend. Can you say the same for the movie version? She doesn’t even appear particularly skilled in fighting! I understand the need to power down most of the movie versions of these characters – but power them down and shut the fuck up! They kept referring to her as that, and yet in the movies her sister Nebula is more fierce than she is.

Suckers.

Anyways, I doubt I need to tell you this movie is a must-watch. While there’s so much you’ll have to wait a year for closure on, go ahead. Be entertained.

And then, get yourself the stone of patience. A year is a long wait.

 

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Yup. No ‘stone of patience’. I just made that up.

Lame much?

 

 

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Have an Infinite-Goodness week!

 

 

*I don’t own copyright on any of the images. They belong to each of the respective copyright holders.

 


Dance To The Rhythm of Your Own Beat.

 

A friend of mine is fond of making fun of sapiosexual people.

 

I wonder how that makes him happy. Interestingly, he embraces same-sex relationships but cannot make sense of how intelligence is a turn-on.  I don’t bother trying to explain it to him; he’s intelligent enough to get it. He just can’t be bothered.

I guess.

My point however, is it is what it is. He is a valued friend; one of the few people I can share my strangest thoughts with and not feel like a psychopathic killer. We just can’t agree on sapiosexuality.

 

And that’s fine.

 

There are a lot of things about me that make people uncomfortable. I accept that. There are a lot of things about me that make some of the people I hold most dear not know what to do with me. I accept that too. I accept these things because I’ve come to understand; just because people do not understand or like a particular thing doesn’t make that thing automatically bad. 

It just is what it is.

 

 

But; and I can tell you this for free – I did not always understand that. I would have friends, we would fight and I would spend time agonizing over the fact that I have done it again, whatever ‘it’ was supposed to be. And sometimes, I would ask such friends and they would be unable to explain what it was to me. So I thought maybe it’ll be best if I stopped having friends. No friends, no heartbreak. And for a while, I was okay.

 

And then, as it happens in fiction, I fell in love.

 

That particular romance shaped a lot of me. I had someone who bothered, who took the time to know me for me, and not based on what someone said or whatever his expectations were. I knew what it felt like to be loved and accepted for who I was.

It felt like I imagine heaven to feel. It. Was. Everything.

 

Of course, I have flaws and I continually work on making them better. However, there’s a clear difference between bad and unusual/different. A lot of us are unhappy because people are not accepting of us because we don’t meet their idea of perfect. We continually try to fit ourselves into boxes created for us but we don’t belong in and it’s killing us slowly. Daily, we unintentionally commit slow suicide.

 

That’s no life.

 

We must learn to embrace ourselves for who we are. Again, to be clear – that is not to say ‘be rude if that’s who you are’ or ‘be an asshole’ and so on. It’s okay to not like Game of Thrones. I don’t. It’s okay to not care for Avengers Infinity War/Black Panther and the rest of those things. I do – and that’s fine either way. Be good to yourself sha, we’re all going through stuff and you deserve to be happy.

 

You’re beautiful, and your scars are nothing but beauty marks. Enjoy them.