‘Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives’.
With those ominous words Thanos introduces himself in the much-heralded Avengers Infinity War, ten years in the making. Standing in the smoking and smoldering pile of what was once the remainder of Asgard, the mad titan makes an entrance that rivals narcissist Stark on his best day.
For the next heart-pumping (or heart-rending, depending on how you choose to see it) minutes, Thanos goes through our favorite characters like a sandstorm through the desert, decimating folk like a shredder does paper. He beats the jolly green giant so bad he (Hulk) doesn’t want to come out ever again. He sacrifices the one person he professes love for, Gamora, his daughter for the Soul Stone, and destroys Vision much like the bot we refuse to accept that he is – but which he really is. If truly, Thanos is destiny as he described himself in one scene in the movie, then there’s nothing bright and hopeful about destiny.
It is gloomy, destructive and uncaring.
True, the purpose is balancing a clearly-overburdened galaxy which Thanos undertakes with a determination and focus that puts the best of our so-called world savers to shame. Clearly the star of the movie, Thanos has a gravitas that makes him the most superior of Marvel villains and the second-best onscreen comic villain in over fifty years of comic movies.
More on that later.
The focus, for now however is what direction the sequel is likely to take. And here, we get into the spoilers.
Avengers 4 is the end for Downey Jr. as Stark – Best case scenario, he does what Pepper has been asking him to for over ten movies; hang up the armor, marry and start a family of smaller Starks (Morgan, anyone?).
Worst case scenario: he dies fighting Thanos – and NO ONE will forgive Marvel for that.
Stark is important in defeating Thanos – In a particular scene, Strange is magicking and when they ask what he’s doing, he says he went into the future to see if they win. Of the millions of scenarios he peeked into, they only won one.
Earlier in the film, he tells Stark if it came down to choosing between saving him (Stark), his ward (Spider-Man) and keeping the Time Stone away from Thanos, he would not hesitate to let them die. Yet, after Thanos got one in heavy on Mr. Stark and is about to kill him, Strange gives up the stone after Thanos agree to spare Stark. My theory is in the one scenario where they win, Strange sees Stark is important to defeating Thanos so he gives up the stone in a pyrrhic victory scenario.
Avengers 4 is also the last time we’ll see a lot of the originals – After Thanos gets the last stone from Vision’s head, he does the one thing he meant to do all along; snap his fingers (off-screen) and obliterates half the universe. They don’t show him doing it; however we see people slowly begin to disintegrate. Off go Black Panther, Spider-Man, Falcon, Bucky, Star Lord, Groot, Scarlet Witch, Dr. Strange, Mantis, Drax, Nick Fury, Maria Hill – to wherever it is comic characters go when another cosmic-powered comic character snaps his fingers. The thing about those who left VS those who stayed is the former is composed mostly of people who just started their MCU Spider-Man has at least one more movie after Avengers 4. Same goes for Black Panther. Same for The Guardians, and, if I’m correct, Dr. Strange. Besides, I’m quite sure about Ant Man and Wasp becoming part of Avengers 4. So, I won’t be too unduly worried about those guys.
They’ll be fine.
The post-credit scene ending has nothing to do with the Captain Marvel movie – At least, that’s what the facts as we have them now say. According to gist coming out of Hollywood, the first Captain Marvel movie will be set in the 90s, so there’s little chance of Infinity Anything showing up in there. However, I’m quite sure she’ll be a major part of Avengers 4 – hence Nick sending out that distress signal. I’d like to know tho – how the hell does a clearly analog device display colors like that?!
Hell. Nick is the super-spy, no?
Iron Man and Captain America will reunite – That one’s a no-brainer. I mean, Stark had to at least know there would be some of the good guys left on earth. The first thing would be to rally the forces, take a head count and know what the odds on their parts are. And the first step in that would be to reconcile with Steve – even though his ego would want to get in the way.
There’s going to be the granddaddy of all smackdowns with Thanos in the middle: Even though the ending shows Thanos ‘retiring’ in a quiet corner of the galaxy, sitting and watching the sun set, somehow the Avengers interfering and bringing everyone back will be sufficient enough to make him put on the gauntlet again. And he’s definitely getting into it with the larger Avengers team – all at the same time.
Those are my theories as far as the final Avengers movie goes. What’s yours?
Thank you for visiting!
Some things that made no sense to me in Avengers Infinity War:
If you hate spoilers, do not proceed beyond this point. You have been warned.
- How did Heimdall, who can see all nine realms, not see Thanos coming?
- What happened to Korg, Valkyrie and Miek?
- Why did Heimdall choose to save Banner?
- How did he know Dr. Strange’s address?
- Why was Black Widow/Steve surprised to see Banner? He called them, no?
- Why did Thor need a new hammer? Did Thanos’ punches make him forget what Odin said in Ragnarok?
- Really, who send Thanos?
- Why did Thor need a new eye?
- Again, what the fuck was Red Skull doing in Infinity War?!
- Strange could have ended that fight in over a million ways. A simple one; why didn’t he do to Thanos what he did to Dormamu?
Please, if you have a better explanation that ‘plot armour’, do share. And if you have some other things that also made little/no sense to you, please share too.
PPS: If DC committed a third of the atrocities this movie is guilty of, na Zack Snyder and im family alone go watch am. Bias much?
Ten years in the making. Ten years in the waiting.
Is it worth it?
Well…630 million dollars (as of this morning) would say so!
From the moment Robert Downey Jr. donned the Iron Man suit, we’ve been made to feel like this is the moment we’ve been waiting for – even though that isn’t true. However, it could be because that 2008 movie marked the first time an Iron-suited Avenger would appear on the big screen – but that wasn’t the biggest clue.
The biggest tip was a certain post-credit scene.
Anyways, after 18 films and roughly 114/15 billion dollars in profit on a 3.7 or billion budget, Marvel decides to bring their 10-year plan to a climax.
Roll out the drums for Avengers: Infinity War.
It’s simple really. Uncle Big-Bad Thanos who spent the last 10 years (or 18 films, depending on how you look at it) sending acolytes to gather the Infinity Stones finally decides it’s time to step up to the plate and serve himself. Or, as he so clearly put it in the Age of Ultron post-credit scene, ‘If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself’. So he decides to go around the galaxy to gather the stones and then, right the scales of reality – a task he elected to do himself – or at least, with help from his genetically enhanced alien henchmen The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Ebony Maw (the talkative), Cull Obsidian & Curvus Glaive – read a comic!).
What follows is a throw down of galactic proportions.
Random strands of events conspire to bring our heroes together and splitting them in two factions – Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy, Spider Man on one team, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Black Panther, Scarlett not-so-witchy Witch, Vision, Okoye, Black Widow, Falcon in another. Together, they form the resistance trying to stop Thanos from his goal – annihilation of half the galaxy’s population – one team engaging with him directly, the other team trying to stop him from getting the last stone.
How well that went is anyone’s guess.
For me, Thanos was the show-stealer here. I remember watching an interview in which Josh Brolin, the man who did voice and motion capture for the huge titan and also plays Cable in the coming Deadpool 2 said he had more fun playing Thanos than Cable. It took seeing this movie for me to understand and agree with that sentiment. As far as bad guys go, Thanos makes a compelling argument for the award for The Best Villain In Comic Movies. Personally, only one villain outshines him –
Again; your guess.
Of the many, many things to like in this movie, how everything came together is the best part for me. The Thor, Loki, Hulk, Heimdall narrative was well done and compelling as an opener and a setup for what was to come – but even then, nothing can prepare you.
The cast inhabit their characters well, as much as I dislike Elizabeth Olsen’s Wanda, she had a more prominent role than usual – and that was good for her. It was nice to see the Captain not be in uniform and yet, never more ‘captain’ than in his moments. I wanted more of a reunion between Black Widow and you-know-who – but I didn’t get it. Time?
Of course, Downey’s Stark is still quite an important part of the whole thing – and never more important than when Strange surrenders something and his only explanation is ‘There was no other way’. If you can’t work it out yourself, chill. I got you – shortly.
I also liked seeing Tom Holland more as Spidey than Peter. I have made it clear before; his Peter Parker doesn’t much work for me, but his Spider Man, the tiny hero with the heart of gold who always tries to do what’s right – he is a winner. Check out the Iron Spider suit!!!
One of the things that irks me about Marvel movies is how sometimes they try to retain the character’s comic truth – but can’t be bothered to put it in the narrative so they mention it in passing.
Case in point: Gammora.
Through the first two Guardians movies and even now, in Infinity War, we’re constantly beaten over the head with how she is ‘the most ferocious woman in the galaxy’ and in the comics, this was/is true. Gammora’s exploits are the stuff of legend. Can you say the same for the movie version? She doesn’t even appear particularly skilled in fighting! I understand the need to power down most of the movie versions of these characters – but power them down and shut the fuck up! They kept referring to her as that, and yet in the movies her sister Nebula is more fierce than she is.
Anyways, I doubt I need to tell you this movie is a must-watch. While there’s so much you’ll have to wait a year for closure on, go ahead. Be entertained.
And then, get yourself the stone of patience. A year is a long wait.
Yup. No ‘stone of patience’. I just made that up.
Have an Infinite-Goodness week!
*I don’t own copyright on any of the images. They belong to each of the respective copyright holders.
So I have not been writing reviews for a minute.
I’m busy. So much so.
But I haven’t exactly abandoned my second first love. I still see movies as often as I can, as much as I can.
Having said all of that, I won’t be writing detailed reviews like usual – at least, not for this one because of the volume of stuff I need to get through. But I will do enough so you can decide to enjoy or pass on any of the three following:
- New Money
Not a bad movie – which is to say it isn’t all that great. The lead actress, young cutie Jemima Osunde who apparently is a Shuga star as well (sorry, don’t know much about these things) gives a strong performance as a girl who finds out she’s the daughter of a multi-millionaire CEO who passes before he can do more than touch her cheek. He leaves a video message – and more or less bequeaths the entire chain of companies to her. Falz is the hungry boyfriend who sees all the advantages of dating a naïve girl with a good heart.
As a side note, that faux Yoruba accent thing Falz does is borderline annoying at this point. Sure, Folarin is an amazing actor. I just think he would fare better in serious roles. His jokes as Kwan, the main character’s primary love interest (oh, she has secondary and tertiary love interests; just watch) were not amusing in the least – though there were people laughing in the cinema.
Kate Henshaw is her mother, a struggling, kind woman who owns a restaurant and seems to never be out of depth. Dakore is the official wife who can’t have kids of her own – you see where this is headed, right?
Some other supporting characters gave brilliant performances, and shone whenever they were on screen. Jemima, in my opinion, has a bright career ahead of her. She did well.
A fairly predictable film, it does have flashes of brilliance but not enough to take it into ‘amazing’ or ‘breathtaking’ space. Still worth a watch if you have nothing better to do.
2. Suicide Squad: Hell To Pay Animated Movie
As usual, there’s another mission for Task Force X. However, there are a couple of twists to this one. First is the lineup. We have the usual suspects (well, usual for 2016 moviegoers) Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Captain Boomerang – and then we have a throwback from the original comics’ lineup, Bronze Tiger and then, we have Copperhead, thrown in for some reason, and then Killer Frost.
The story is as usual – get something done for Amanda Waller who, in this incarnation has lost quite a bit of weight and looks more like her DCU counterpart as played by Viola Davis. However, she didn’t lose all that weight because she was weight-watching; she lost it because she’s sick and dying. She needs some insurance – and therefore, the Squad is out on the road again.
It’s an interesting one; the Deadshot here is somber, calm and world-weary. Bronze Tiger is the one character who believes in a higher power and refuses to work with killers and criminals. Harley Quinn, who is a much-beloved character of mine, is disappointingly under-utilized here.
She provides comic relief is all.
A lot of DC characters show up, Vertigo, Punch and Judy, Vandal Savage, Professor Pyg, Scandal Savage, Knockout, Zoom, Silver Banshee, Blockbuster – all appear at some point, and yet manages to clutter up or slow down the movie. It’s not great great – but it’s a fun watch and waaaaaaay better than the live-action movie.
Not in cinemas – and I can’t share my copy. Sorry.
3. Tomb Raider
If you are old enough to have seen the original Tomb Raider, you probably will remember her as a sexy heroine in bum shorts who never looks flustered or stressed – no matter what is going on around her. Better yet, if you are old enough to have seen the original movie and played the game, you would have realized some things didn’t ring true for Angelina Jolie’s portrayal.
Like how she could take a mud bath and emerge without a hair out of place. Like how she manages to look sensual no matter what (this quality is one I feel distracted a lot from her tremendous acting ability) I watched the movies and I hated them – because they looked nothing like the Lara Croft I saw in the games.
And then, Alicia Vikander was cast as the new Lara Croft.
I had hopes. While I wasn’t exactly a fan of Vikander’s, I knew it was going to be a departure from the slinky sexuality of Jolie’s Croft. And that I looked forward to.
In that regard, I wasn’t disappointed. This Lara’s physicality is imposing – if exaggerated at some point. She’s just starting out; so there are several skill gaps but all of those details come together to give (me at least) a heartwarming viewing. The story and plot were choppy and reminiscent of several similar movies, the villain was just there, someone to provide a foil to Lara’s ambitions – but the character; Lara herself shows so much promise. I want to believe the next film will be the bomb. I believe so strongly.
Worth a watch. Beware; however, you might nod off in the middle.
Well. I hope I have done justice to these films. Have you seen any of them? What do you think? Please let me know!
Is there any such thing as a ‘perfect Nollywood movie’?
I, along with a lot other people don’t expect a lot from Nollywood. I’m used to substandard work, movies with plots that make little sense, acting that means something else entirely, dialogue that sounds like it was inspired by Martians – and a billion other flaws.
But every now and then, a movie comes along and makes me want to jump for joy.
I hardly go to the cinemas to watch a Nollywood film. This one, I stumbled into by accident. I was at the cinema to pretend-watch the latest Ape Planet something. I changed my mind last minute – but then, I still wanted to watch a movie.
Against my judgment, I chose Picture Perfect. And I can tell you, I didn’t feel as fulfilled watching Spiderman: Homecoming.
And that is saying a lot.
It is written and produced by Biodun Stephen and directed by Tope Alake. The premise is simple: a tailor/fashion designer gets stuck in a notorious neighborhood and is about to be assaulted by a couple of touts. She’s saved by another tout who pretends to know her from somewhere – just to save her from the other ‘undesirable elements’. A bunch of funny things happen – along with a major plot twist – or not so much a twist, depending on what side of the camera you’re usually on.
I saw it coming tho.
It’s a simple movie; it isn’t trying to fix humanity or the government for that matter. It isn’t trying to make us see the value (or lack thereof) of marriage; it’s not trying to sell us the glam and flimflam of how the other half lives. It’s just trying to be a fun movie; sweet and entertaining.
And that; it manages quite well.
Picture Perfect works best because the cast completely inhabits their characters. Bisola Aiyeola smoked as Kiksy, the lead female’s best friend. She’s completely natural – though she does come across as overacting in a couple of scenes. But she is the voice of reason (as the lead’s best friend usually is) and she’s sweet and kind and fun and real and will marry me by force or…
I’m just kidding.
The women in the movie represent a class of oft-ignored Nigerian woman – strong, independent, capable, and caring, don’t exactly need men but want them nonetheless. The women in this movie are not weak, neither do they have an agenda or feel a need to shove the gender argument in your face. They are just women who love life and are living it on their own terms. I gotta get behind that.
Bolanle Ninalowo also rocked as Jobe aka Jobsy Jor-Jor, the tout who rescues Kumbi (Mary Njoku) from his less-than-gentlemanly associates. I would like to meet this young man, because his accent is spot on, and he cannot seem to stop saying ‘philanderer’ in all its forms. He’s the quintessential tout; rough, strong, respected, honorable, kind, thoughtful, considerate…Jobsy is a character to love and root for.
Mary Njoku, the female lead is also a pot of discovery. The way she switches between fluent English and Yoruba is noteworthy. She, just like Bisola is also completely natural, inhabits the character with grace and feeling. She is believable in all of her scenes, from the dissenting friend to the spurned lover to the consensual lover to the protective mother. The cast had a lot of fun creating this movie – and I’m sure the viewers will too.
The movie is not without its flaws tho, as a couple of scenes/incidents defy explanation, and in some cases, reason. Nothing major, however, the couple plot holes do not dim the fun to be had even slightly.
Is there any such thing as a ‘perfect Nollywood movie’?
Maybe not yet; and I stand corrected, but Picture Perfect comes close.
Now showing in a cinema near you.
For the most part, the premise of the Fast and Furious movie franchise can be summed up in one sentence:
‘Watch; don’t think’.
It’s hard to knock a franchise that has grossed over five billion dollars and is eight movies deep. However, it is what it is. The Fast and The Furious franchise has been around for seventeen years and have collectively grossed over five billion dollars. When you consider, however that the last one (Furious 7) single-handedly grossed 1.6 billion dollars, more than the first five installments of the franchise combined, you know they (Universal) know they’re onto a good thing – and as is usual, will ride it till it can be ridden no more.
For the most part, The Fast and The Furious requires suspension of belief from the audience in spades – but never more than in the latest installment; The Fate of The Furious.
While honeymooning somewhere ‘off the grid’, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is approached by a mysterious woman who coerces him into working for her against his ‘family’.
I’m serious. That’s as far as ‘plot’ for this particular movie goes.
Fate (as I will be calling this movie from here on) opens with; (wait for it)…a street race. I mean, of all the openings F. Gary Gray, fresh off the huge success of Straight Outta Compton could have gone with, it had to be the cliché of all clichés – as far as this particular movie franchise is concerned?!
An alluring, mysterious woman; Cipher (Charlize Theron) shows up at Dom’s honeymoon destination (you get nothing for guessing where this destination is) and shows him something on a mobile phone screen, ‘something’ she believes is powerful enough to make him come and work for her – even though she’s a terrorist and he knows. Almost immediately, Dom gets a call from Agent Hobbs, asking for his help. The usual suspects (the family) are quickly rounded up again by Agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson; The Rock) to go steal some EMP to stop it from falling into some terrorists hands – same piece of machinery Cipher needs for her ‘grand plan’. The mission is successful – only for Dom to sabotage it, steal the EMP and dump Hobbs into police hands.
Somehow, he ends up in the same prison Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is in…
One of the biggest issues I have with this particular outing is how short on memory everyone seems to be. Wasn’t Deckard the same dude who killed Han (Sung Kang) as revenge for his brother’s ‘death’ in the sixth film? All too suddenly, they’re forced to work together and when the team is given news of Deckard’s death, they’re actually sad.
Trust me; moments like the one I just described abound. Cipher, played with amazing detachment by Charlize Theron is another misnomer in her role. She’s the big bad in this movie, and unfortunately, she has nothing different to offer from the other ‘big bads’ in the other Fast and Furious movies. She’s a boring antagonist; it isn’t clear what she wants, she rambles a lot about nothing or pointless rhetoric, and is passionless. Her ‘kissing scene’ with Dom was just that; a bland uninspired lip-lock.
Exhale for a bit – and then, wonder with me how human hands can be used to redirect the path of a torpedo. Or how a submarine dives and resurfaces effortlessly as though it is a dolphin. Moments like those are why the description ‘mindless action’ exists.
The ‘family’ was interestingly inept in this venture; it was as though they couldn’t find any use for themselves individually. That diversity that made us love As an aside, be prepared to hate that word ‘family’. It is thrown around like so much confetti at a wedding, as though the characters need to remind themselves in their many ‘why are we doing this again?’ moments.
Roman’s (Tyrese Gibson) humor was responsible for quite a number of the laughs in the movie – and frankly, it begins to be annoying at some point. I would have loved to see more Helen Mirren who played Magdalene Shaw, and the partnership between the Shaw brothers was another good one.
All in all, for all my issues with this installment, I acknowledge the truth that Fate isn’t a bad movie. For all my knocking it, I don’t go to cinemas for ‘intellectual, life-changing’ movie experiences. I do that shit in my house.
No; I go to the cinema to be entertained and refreshed. And on that score, Fate delivers EXCELLENTLY.
Warning: Major spoilers ahead.
With Marvel these days, a sequel is a certainty.
Scratch that. With ANY high grossing movie, a sequel is ALMOST a certainty. Why, word dropped only some time ago about a sequel to The Wedding Party. Who can blame them? The biggest reason (or the second-biggest) anyone puts money down to support almost anything is to make more money, no?
Therefore, a Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 is a no-brainer.
When I heard in 2013 that a movie adaptation of these characters was being made, my first question was ‘Which Guardians?’ I know I keep harping on this fact – but you should read a freaking comic.
There are two teams known as Guardians of the Galaxy. The original team created in 1969 by Gene Colan (don’t quote me) comprises different characters, some of who you saw/will see at the end of the second movie; Charlie 27 (Ving Rhames), Stakar Ogord (Sylvester Stallone), Aleta Ogord (Michelle Yeoh), Yondu (Michael Rooker; appears in both films), Adam Warlock (mentioned at the end of two) and so on. But as is usual, the whole thing was retconned for the movie(s). The Guardian team the movies are mostly about is the 2008 version.
In this sequel, the Guardians get in trouble because Rocket Raccoon (if he catches you calling him that, don’t say you read it here o) decides to steal a bunch of batteries they (the Guardians) were hired to protect by The Sovereign. On their way from the planet, they are attacked by their erstwhile employers, The Sovereign – but are protected by a mysterious man who calls himself Ego (Kurt Russell) (after the living planet in the comics) and turns out to be Star-Lord Peter Quill’s (Chris Pratt) father.
That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film – that; and further exploration of the relationship between Yondu and Quill. We get to understand why Yondu has a soft spot for Quill and, more importantly, why Yondu decided to keep Quill for himself instead of delivering him to – as per his employment at the time.
The sequel is a good movie; refreshing humor and emotionally satisfying moments well put together. It is not as good as the first one, however, and a number of head-scratching moments further take away from the shine of this outing.
Head-Scratching Moment 1 – why did The Sovereign hire The Guardians in the first place? As seen further into the movie, The Sovereign are quite capable and vicious in their own right. Ayesha (also known as Her and Kismet from the comics) explained it as ‘each of the Sovereign are created to specific genetic codes. We are all special and therefore must be protected’ or words to that effect – but still.
Head-Scratching Moment 2 – why did Ego tell Peter Quill about killing Quill’s mom Meredith? I know, the ‘good guy’ needs inspiration; usually delivered via rousing speech to remember what he is fighting for – but that?
Made no sense. AT ALL.
Look out for the coming of Adam Warlock, one of the original Guardians! Well, it’s an Easter Egg so pay close attention or you’ll miss it. And The Watchers…!
The sibling rivalry between Nebula and Gamora came to a quite disappointing end – and some of that doesn’t make sense either. Nebula attacks Gamora with a jet, crashes the jet and is trapped. Gamora carries a big-ass canon, shoots the jet into a hole, ‘has a change of heart’, climbs into the hole and rescues Nebula. WTF?
Call that Head-Scratching Moment 3.
The movie had some slow parts; dialogue that seemed irrelevant and went on and on – but lends to the overall shape of the movie. James Gunn’s strength as writer/director remains the ability to not take any of the on-screen happenings too seriously – and that translates well for the characters. Quill remains as fun as ever, Drax the unintentional/well-meaning brute and loudmouth, Gamora who looks and fights nothing like her comic counterpart, Raccoon who remains as annoying as ever –
And Baby Groot who steals every scene he’s in with childlike charm and baby cuteness.
A good movie; definitely worth watching.
Guardians of the Galaxy is now showing in cinemas across the country.