We, the people of Atlantis would like to share our thoughts on the movie Aquaman.
First of all – congratulations to DC for finally making a movie that makes it into the billion-dollar range. CONGRATULATIONS. We’re happy for you – even though you made it by creating an Atlantis VERY DIFFERENT from the one we live in.
Now congratulations are out of the way, let’s get down to it.
Queen Atlanna was the most realistic of all the people who supposedly come from Atlantis – though, swallowing goldfish? Really, ‘Queen’?
But we’ll let that pass.
You should wonder though – right after us, what it took exactly for the runway queen to fall in love with the lighthouse keeper. Was it because she had never seen a man before? Wait; supposedly there are males who look exactly like that in that Atlantis. Was she trying to shame the Atlantean king she was arranged to marry – or was it just ‘woman’s intuition’ that guided her to him – after all, they were destined to parent a fishboy?
As an aside – she didn’t run very far, did she? Ran all the way from Atlantis – only to stop at a lighthouse right at shore. Not very queenly – by our standards, at least.
And the child who would be king – what exactly is his ‘why’? He carries the guilt of being the reason his mother was sacrificed – but that’s about it. Everything else he carries is on the outside – tattoos and a six-pack that makes him look like he could out-superman Superman – and no kidding. We saw that movie too.
By the way, this child who would be king could NEVER be a king of ours. Why, you ask? Well, you have to wonder why a supposed king would know his way around Atlantis in one movie (Justice League actually) and suddenly need help in another movie. Could it be the alcohol?
And oh, we get the ‘Arthur’ narrative – but making him journey to earth’s core to pull a sword (well, trident, same difference) out of stone (a dead king’s grip) to prove his kingship – come on. Is originality still a thing up there?
We guess not, seeing how this story is just many parts Black Panther, many parts Thor and so on. Let us not even talk about the redhead whose job it is to show this wannabe king just how inept he is. So what exactly qualifies him to be king? Birthright?
Still, there is a lot to like. Down here, our opinions differ on certain parts of the movie. I like the detailing – like how Mera’s ceremonial dress was made of jellyfish and seagrass. I mean, an octopus as a ceremonial drummer?! Sign me up!
But not all of us feel like that.
Some of us feel like the colors were garish and over-bright and that you have NO IDEA what Atlantis is supposed to look like. The computer-generated fish and lobsters are icky. Maybe, but I understand the need. I mean, what else could you have done?
The bad guy, Orm is more like we would expect our king to be; decisive, strong and bold – and completely in the right. Of course, we expect you surface dwellers to disagree; after all it is your world he is threatening. However, consider this; if you’re not stopped, all of sea life is in jeopardy. How hard a choice is it to make then?
Though, for the record, we all laughed when he said ‘no, don’t call me king. I am Ocean Master’. Yeah, alright.
The second bad guy – Black Manta too stole our hearts. But did he have to look like a manta? No offense – it is hard to take anyone in that kind of helmet serious. Even he kept mumbling his name – but his performance was – .
Your actor, Mamoa would have been better suited playing that white-faced bounty hunter, Lobo who lives for the fight. There’s nothing royal about this upstart, hardly anything Atlantean about him either – except that he can talk to fish and glide under water. And also, it was good seeing Wilhelm Dafoe on the side of the angels again (John Wick, anyone?) – but he is quite wasted in the role, as is Nicole Kidman, our beloved (insert underwater snort here) queen.
We like Mera – even though we thought she is the token ‘strong woman’, and we also think it is cute how she goes from all-savvy Atlantean to out-of-her-depth Atlantean. I mean, eating roses?
Yuck. And the ‘romance’ with Arthur? That shit looked like it belongs in Zee World.
All in all, a thoroughly entertaining movie which stayed mostly true to its source – which; as I explained over and over to my fellow Atlanteans; are comics, and not home.
So I have been working for a minute on a project that is quite dear to me – simply because it concerns my first love: comics. I collaborated with a couple brilliant people and together we created this piece of fiction; the preview of which I am so proud to share with you.
Without further ado:
Father Moses Shaw, a British spy, found religion after the Biafran War. Yet, he has since built the most formidable intelligence database on the African continent.
Zain Zubayr, driven, stylish and West Point-trained is Hausa royalty and a high-flying New York attorney who must return to Nigeria to investigate the lies surrounding the legacies of her slain father.
The Ghost is the aging, institutional enforcer of a century-old secret society allegedly founded by anti-colonialist hero, Herbert Macaulay. Haunted and hunted by his past, he pays penance as a ruthless vigilante on the streets of Lagos.
These three unlikely allies must face their demons while crusading against the overwhelming forces out to destroy an already divided nation.
This high octane conspiracy thriller is essentially the secret history of Nigeria, scribbled in blood and bile, chronicling a raging feud that threatens to consume this fragile union and its embattled, oblivious citizens as fresh elections draw near. Nothing is going to prepare them for the Red October Protocols.
Nothing can save them now.
‘Thunder will break, earth bind me fast.
Obduracy, the disease of elephants.’
– Christopher Okigbo
Now enjoy the cover and first few pages off Trinity: Red October
Go download your free preview here now!
The first Thor movie was only monumental because of certain circumstances that surround(ed) my seeing the movie – a personal story. Mostly I floated through it.
The second movie was worse. I went to the cinema twice to see it – and fell asleep midway through both viewings. What made the second time worse was; I was there on invitation from one of my closest friends. He wanted me to meet his fiancé.
However, I couldn’t help myself. That movie was a snorefest; and its dark themes and shadows didn’t allow it fit too convincingly into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Permit me to say now; Thor Ragnarok is Thor’s Terminator II: Judgement Day.
If you don’t know what that is, Google is your friend.
While you’re at it, you might also want to check out Ragnarok – the actual Norse mythology version. In that tale, Loki is the one who brings about the ruination of Asgard by way of his alliance with the frost giants and Fenrir (Hela’s giant wolf in this movie) and Sutr the giant with a flaming sword.
However, the whole story was reworked by Stan Lee and others for the comics – and then reworked for the movie version. For example, Hela is Loki’s daughter in the comics; she was promoted to be Odin’s for this movie. She and him were conquerors who started out to rule the universe. After conquering nine realms, Odin grew uncomfortable with her ambition and bloodlust and sealed her off in a prison with his life force.
As long as he (Odin) lives…
Thor: Ragnarok begins with Thor in chains and in a cage, soliloquizing about how he got there and what the next thing for him is (hold your breath for who his cellmate is) and then, he gets into a sharp quick battle with giant –
And then, he returns to Asgard where Odin has become a wine-drinking, grape swallowing, massage-enduring buffoon (watch for Matt Damon’s cameo). He plays a game of Catch-The-Hammer mostly with himself – and then exposes the fraud.
In a lot of ways, Thor has been reconstructed to better fit into the MCU; better and more regular jokes, colorful scenes and finally, a movie in which Thor gets to show his physicality. He is a better match for Hulk in this round, and the battle is exciting. There’s a scene in which Hulk grabs Thor and wipes the floor with him the exact same way he did with Loki in the first Avengers movie – and Loki, unable to help himself, jumps up in the bleachers and yells ‘THAT’S HOW THAT FELT!’ and effectively blowing his own cover.
A star-studded supporting cast do well in this turn also. Tessa Thompson shines well as Scrapper 142 or the last surviving Valkyrie, Marvel’s answer for DC’s Amazons. She holds her own well – which makes all the ‘feminist’ equality speech by Hemsworth at some point moot. Jeff Goldblum is the stellar Grandmaster, and with the co-opting and retconning of the War World storyline into Ragnarok and making the Grandmaster king instead of The Red King, and making the gladiatorial battles The Contest of Champions (another Marvel storyline) the arena is set for the ultimate smackdown: Hulk VS Thor.
Karl Urban plays Skurge, the original Executioner – who appears here without his usual boss The Enchantress. Instead, he’s a disgraced Asgardian who believes he is destined for greater things and mans the Bifrost Bridge in Heimdahl’s self-exile. Totting two AK-47s which he calls ‘Dis’ and ‘Troy’ he ends up in a way quite similar to his comic namesake’s end. Watch for spoilers. Mark Ruffalo is a great Hulk but an even greater Banner – or maybe vice versa – depending on who you ask, but his presence is felt every time he shows up on screen, either as the puny human who hasn’t ‘come out’ in two years – or his Hulking counterpart.
A few plot holes slow this movie down – but none more than the following; when Thor lands on Sakar he is ‘injected’ with an ‘obedience disk’ which also doubles as a Taser of sorts. He enters the arena armed with double swords which makes sense because years of depending on Mijolnir, but after being pounded well by Hulk, he is able to summon his thunder in spite of being without his hammer. I mean, this man’s eyes were literally white, lightning was running up and down his arms – and yet, he was tazed into unconsciousness. AGAIN.
In a surprising turn of events Loki doesn’t outshine Thor much this outing – even though Hiddlestone remains sharp as ever. Instead, it would seem Thor has been built up and made more compelling – and his character growth is something interesting to watch.
All in all – Ragnarok is a fun watch. Go see this in the cinemas, and wait patiently; there are two post credit scenes. This is no Winter Soldier, neither is it Avengers 1 – but it is a worthy entry into the Marvel box-office successes.
I’d gladly watch it again.
This Took Longer Than It Should Have. I Apologize.
Maybe it has to do with the type of comics I grew up with.
Maybe it was the idea that heroes stood for more than themselves; heroes were a voice for people who couldn’t speak.
Maybe it was the escape it offered such that; whenever I was having a bad day, I could just reach for a comic – and like that, I’m gone away like so much magic dust. Maybe it is the realization that comics; like X-Men for instance, showed me a world where people were feared and hated just because they are different. A world freakishly like the one I live in.
Maybe it was the fact that I learnt the difference between a phrase and a clause; thanks to an Incredible Hulk comic.
Whatever the reason, I am a proud comic book lover.
Long before DC started to drop box office bombs with the frequency of a radio broadcast, I was discussing with a number of friends and wondering what it would be like when these guys came on to the screen. As a result, we/I watched EVERY on-screen adaptation of comic books, just to see if they lived up to the image the owners have consistently created in our/my head(s) for years.
Usually, there’s stuff to complain about. Very few movies have nailed it down – even the most ‘critically acclaimed’ of these movies get a whole lot wrong. And even judging them on their own merit; at worst they created a hot, fudgy mess (Dawn of Justice, any of the CW series), at best they create amazing stories (Netflix Daredevil, Batman Begins and so on).
Logan is one of the latter moments.
There was cause for concern; obviously. The first two Wolverine films were (even now I am shaking my head as I write this) just something to pass the time. I doubt I saw either of them more than twice, definitely not up to five time collectively. There just wasn’t anything to see – apart from a train roof fight sequence from the second one. Nothing.
Then Hugh Jackman teased this:
I wrote a piece then, talking about how I suspected they were going to adapt the Old Man Logan storyline from the comics, or at least come pretty close. The biggest issue with adapting that would be the fact that it was a universe-wide event; even though it happened in a Wolverine story, it affected multiple characters; characters 20th Century Fox do not have rights to. I really wanted to see how they would play that.
I mean considering what they did with Civil War…
I saw Logan twice before attempting to put anything down about it, and this was the first and only post I made concerning that film:
I will not be writing a review of Logan – simply because I don’t have anything new to bring to the conversation. I will, however be writing a treatise on why it’s one of the most important superhero films ever made.
There was only one scene that made me unable to control the waterworks from my eyes; even though there was a girl I was trying to impress present.
No, it wasn’t the fact that Logan was dying; anybody who’s watched more than five movies should have seen that coming. People like Wolverine don’t get to retire peacefully. Their deaths have to be as violent as their lives (you’d understand better if you’ve seen Shane or actually listened to that part in the hotel room scene).
He had to die.
What made me cry; what shook me to my fibre was when the not-so-little little girl said, “Daddy…”
Forget that she was built in a lab. Forget that she’s killed more people than you’ve had orgasms (wellllllllllll). Forget that she’s a violent, half-animal, I-can-talk-but-would-rather-stay-mute-cos-that’s-way-cooler, murdering mutant. In that moment, she was just a child about to lose her father.
And that, is the type of pain no healing factor, no matter how heightened, can heal.
One of the pieces I read after the second viewing said ‘Logan is the Batman Begins of the Marvel Universe’ and I agree completely. What both films have in common is that they brought superheroes to our level. ‘Begins and Logan were not ‘superhero’ films, they were films that had a couple of superheroes in them. In other words, the story/plot/progression wasn’t based on superpowers, these are stories that could happen to anyone; the characters just happened to be heroes.
Take away Christian Bale’s costume and gadgets. Remove Logan and Laura’s claws and healing factors. Would we still have stories? Yes; with minor adjustments. For example, in Logan, we wouldn’t have Reavers chasing Laura and the other kids because they were mutants, they might just be child-traffickers trying to catch some runaway kids some high-end clientele have paid for. Bruce Wayne could just have been some guy who wants to clean his city, a well-trained martial artist. The crime had a human face; Falcone, even the ‘super villain’ Scarecrow was just an insane doctor.
Ordinary people in extra-ordinary circumstances. Just like you and me.
Logan is a fitting end to Jackman’s run as Wolverine; he has never been better and I doubt he can ever be. Patrick Stewart was at his telepathic finest even with his mind ravaged by Alzheimer’s (see the irony?) and the new girl, Laura aka X-23 was just…
In all the many, many mortalities in all the X Men films, none of them hit me like the death of Logan. Not because he’s my favorite X Man (well, till they find a perfect Gambit) but because it was human. This was not a superhero, mutant, claw-popping, accelerated healing factor rocking guy dying; this was just an old man who happened to have lived too long.
In fact, I was kinda happy for Logan.
Finally, he’s going to rest. I mean, he has the burden of outliving EVERYONE he’s ever cared about. He’s lost his one excuse for sticking around; Professor Xavier, so his life pretty much had no purpose from then on. Finally, this lonely and grumpy old man will have peace.
But, he had a daughter.
Someone who knows she was built in a lab finds out she has some kind of tie to humanity; she has a father. A father who denies paternity – but a father nonetheless. And when, just when he’s finally accepted she’s a part of him –
They kill him.
Even now, putting down these words that have been hovering in my head for almost two months, my eyes still smart. Finally, an X Men movie I can not only enjoy; but relate to. Themes of friendship, responsibility, purpose, destiny keep going on, over and over.
And then, when you consider I have a little girl of mine…
As far as I’m concerned, Logan is a movie that belongs in the ‘How To Make A Superhero Movie’ corner of libraries, film schools – and whoever else archives stuff like that. Me?
I’m just thankful I’m alive to see stuff like this.
Now, who has some tissue?
Warning: Major spoilers ahead.
With Marvel these days, a sequel is a certainty.
Scratch that. With ANY high grossing movie, a sequel is ALMOST a certainty. Why, word dropped only some time ago about a sequel to The Wedding Party. Who can blame them? The biggest reason (or the second-biggest) anyone puts money down to support almost anything is to make more money, no?
Therefore, a Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 is a no-brainer.
When I heard in 2013 that a movie adaptation of these characters was being made, my first question was ‘Which Guardians?’ I know I keep harping on this fact – but you should read a freaking comic.
There are two teams known as Guardians of the Galaxy. The original team created in 1969 by Gene Colan (don’t quote me) comprises different characters, some of who you saw/will see at the end of the second movie; Charlie 27 (Ving Rhames), Stakar Ogord (Sylvester Stallone), Aleta Ogord (Michelle Yeoh), Yondu (Michael Rooker; appears in both films), Adam Warlock (mentioned at the end of two) and so on. But as is usual, the whole thing was retconned for the movie(s). The Guardian team the movies are mostly about is the 2008 version.
In this sequel, the Guardians get in trouble because Rocket Raccoon (if he catches you calling him that, don’t say you read it here o) decides to steal a bunch of batteries they (the Guardians) were hired to protect by The Sovereign. On their way from the planet, they are attacked by their erstwhile employers, The Sovereign – but are protected by a mysterious man who calls himself Ego (Kurt Russell) (after the living planet in the comics) and turns out to be Star-Lord Peter Quill’s (Chris Pratt) father.
That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film – that; and further exploration of the relationship between Yondu and Quill. We get to understand why Yondu has a soft spot for Quill and, more importantly, why Yondu decided to keep Quill for himself instead of delivering him to – as per his employment at the time.
The sequel is a good movie; refreshing humor and emotionally satisfying moments well put together. It is not as good as the first one, however, and a number of head-scratching moments further take away from the shine of this outing.
Head-Scratching Moment 1 – why did The Sovereign hire The Guardians in the first place? As seen further into the movie, The Sovereign are quite capable and vicious in their own right. Ayesha (also known as Her and Kismet from the comics) explained it as ‘each of the Sovereign are created to specific genetic codes. We are all special and therefore must be protected’ or words to that effect – but still.
Head-Scratching Moment 2 – why did Ego tell Peter Quill about killing Quill’s mom Meredith? I know, the ‘good guy’ needs inspiration; usually delivered via rousing speech to remember what he is fighting for – but that?
Made no sense. AT ALL.
Look out for the coming of Adam Warlock, one of the original Guardians! Well, it’s an Easter Egg so pay close attention or you’ll miss it. And The Watchers…!
The sibling rivalry between Nebula and Gamora came to a quite disappointing end – and some of that doesn’t make sense either. Nebula attacks Gamora with a jet, crashes the jet and is trapped. Gamora carries a big-ass canon, shoots the jet into a hole, ‘has a change of heart’, climbs into the hole and rescues Nebula. WTF?
Call that Head-Scratching Moment 3.
The movie had some slow parts; dialogue that seemed irrelevant and went on and on – but lends to the overall shape of the movie. James Gunn’s strength as writer/director remains the ability to not take any of the on-screen happenings too seriously – and that translates well for the characters. Quill remains as fun as ever, Drax the unintentional/well-meaning brute and loudmouth, Gamora who looks and fights nothing like her comic counterpart, Raccoon who remains as annoying as ever –
And Baby Groot who steals every scene he’s in with childlike charm and baby cuteness.
A good movie; definitely worth watching.
Guardians of the Galaxy is now showing in cinemas across the country.
It’s Out Now! Click: http://okadabooks.com/book/about/lebe_first_cut/13423 and buy Lẹ́bẹ́: First Cut!
An amateur boxer is put in prison for getting on the wrong side of a rich man and roughing up police officers. Of course, he is forgotten there. Sometime later, he does the cousin of a colonel a favor and the colonel gets him released into his custody as a companion for the Colonel’s cripple son. Unknown to the colonel however, his son was the protégé of a murdered hero and he has been searching for a replacement. The amateur boxer, in exchange for help finding his wife and child helps rid the streets of a new designer drug and in the process, learns what it is to be a hero.
Lẹ́bẹ́ is a street-level, crime-noir pulp magazine-type publication and will be available on OkadaBooks from Monday the 13th of March for five hundred naira (N500). Thank you for the support!