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Guest Post: The Danger of YorubaBoys

Yorubaboy: that’s the word of the year. No hyphen, no apostrophes, no nothing. It’s a noun on its own.

Shebi Oyinbo people add new words to their dictionary every year? Yorubaboy is my own addition to our own dictionary. Nigerian Language Dictionary 2015.

Bite Me.

What it means? A male human, whose lips are sugar coated to a fault; they are so sweet, the best thing to do on seeing one is to use the next door. They lie so much, hian. Be very afraid.

And it goes without saying; they can cheat for Africa.

So, as you might have guessed, being a yorubaboy has nothing to do with the tribe. An oyinbo man can be a yorubaboy, and so can an Igbo man. Just as the word ‘slave’ was coined from the name of the ‘slavia’ people, that doesn’t make those in the present day Yougoslavia slaves. There were black slaves who have never been to Yugoslavia. The coinage just came about in the 9th century when the Slavic people were the most enslaved.

Sigh!  Apologies for going all nerdy on you. Let’s get back to Our yorubaboy thesis.

Now, let’s treat the three Ms that the Yorubaboy has a Ph.D. in; Marriage, Money and Mating.

If a Yorubaboy knows that it is marriage that you want, he will tell you the agbada that he is wearing is just 5 yards off the 1 million yards ‘husband material’ he has stored in his room. If you follow him to that room to check out his husband material, you; my friend, are a goner.

Next!

If a Yorubaboy knows it is money you want, say you nor want marriage, he will tell you that the paper America, Europe and co print their money on is gotten from the trees in his backyard. If you like, follow am go backyard, it haf be for you.

E ehn!

Now, if it is Mating you want, hehe, make sure to buy your provision when going to a Yorubaboy’s house o, because he can do from morning till night, and he won’t be hungry. To the Yorubaboy, you are the food, and he can eat you for days without drinking water. All puns intended. So for your own good, buy provisions wey you go use replenish yourself, or else, na bone go remain when you dey waka comot, if you go fit waka sef.

And as the saying goes, a Yorubaboy can form loyal now, but cheating is in his DNA; like a werewolf, when the moon shows up, he will howl. You can’t tame a Yorubaboy, so don’t even try. The best you can do for yourself is RUN!

I still don’t know if Guy Code applies to Yorubaboys; like the rule 59 which states that you shouldn’t mate with a friend’s babe or his ex, or rule 75 which states that you must not mate with your babe’s sister or sisters. You know, all those rules gentlemen live by. In other words, a Yorubaboy is dangerous, very dangerous, so, ladies, be kiaful!

You pipu should not come and be asking me kweshons o, I am not a ‪#‎Yorubaboy‬, I have kukuma te you pipu that one before before, I am an ‪#‎Omoluabi‬. Hehe!

How Saturday be for your end? Selah!

Post by: Prince Adewale Oreshade

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2 responses

  1. Interesting!

    December 11, 2015 at 4:38 pm

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