What If God?
What if God,
Would I have a fuck
If God doesn’t exist, I’ll take a poop,
On EVERY religious figure – from the ayatollah to the pope,
I’d draw the most disrespectful cartoons in cartons,
And drive till I have my car torn
To pieces; by the sheer roughness of my driving
Kill a virgin with the sheer roughness of my drive-in;
Impregnate her mother, butt fuck her dad
Design cum-graffiti all over her pad
I would act like life was Grand Theft auto;
Turn strippers to prostitutes – for that promo,
Smack Asa till she changes; starts singing in alto
Ban Wizkid and ’em from singing with auto
Tune in to my most bestial nature,
Rape every male wannabe father-figure
Make Nigeria worse than it is; turn it into Sodom,
Just to make Gomorrah jealous
Tell loud-speaking talkers; shut the fuck up!
Take a dump on the poor; tell them to give their rights up,
Fuck gender equality; take a female and rape her,
I give a damn if she’s yours or my sister
Kidnap Patience something – make her a babysitter,
Make a meal of Goodluck, most preferably dinner,
Drop a single, brag about it all in my rhymes,
Since the world is flat; erase drawn lines
Or maybe I’ll be dead already,
‘Cos there are consequences
Even when you live without fear of consequences
And no matter what I do, I cannot con sequences.
What will be – will be.
But wait a minute.
What if God exists?
I’m expecting you.