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What If God?


What if God,


Didn’t Exist?


Would I have a fuck


To give?




If God doesn’t exist, I’ll take a poop,

On EVERY religious figure – from the ayatollah to the pope,

I’d draw the most disrespectful cartoons in cartons,

And drive till I have my car torn




To pieces; by the sheer roughness of my driving

Kill a virgin with the sheer roughness of my drive-in;

Impregnate her mother, butt fuck her dad

Design cum-graffiti all over her pad




I would act like life was Grand Theft auto;

Turn strippers to prostitutes – for that promo,

Smack Asa till she changes; starts singing in alto

Ban Wizkid and ’em from singing with auto




Tune in to my most bestial nature,

Rape every male wannabe father-figure

Make Nigeria worse than it is; turn it into Sodom,

Just to make Gomorrah jealous



Tell loud-speaking talkers; shut the fuck up!

Take a dump on the poor; tell them to give their rights up,

Fuck gender equality; take a female and rape her,

I give a damn if she’s yours or my sister




Kidnap Patience something – make her a babysitter,

Make a meal of Goodluck, most preferably dinner,

Drop a single, brag about it all in my rhymes,

Since the world is flat; erase drawn lines




Or maybe I’ll be dead already,

‘Cos there are consequences

Even when you live without fear of consequences


And no matter what I do, I cannot con sequences.

What will be – will be.





But wait a minute.

What if God exists?







I’m expecting you.


12 responses

  1. …you’ll be damned for good

    Oh! I mean crowned in hell

    Hell here on earth

    Or simply end up

    Like cain the vagabond
    Or samson who perished in da enemy’s camp
    Or Saul who was tormented by evil spirit

    Maybe you will end up like Saul,

    I mean apostle Paul
    That is
    if you make amends

    and f..k no more

    But surely there is a GOD

    Who cannot be mocked.😀😊😃😀😀

    June 4, 2015 at 1:05 am

  2. Yikes!

    June 4, 2015 at 7:38 am

  3. Gloire

    “Cos there are consequences
    Even when you live without fear of
    And no matter what I do, I cannot con
    Seun be wielding words with so much ease…

    June 6, 2015 at 4:51 pm

  4. Great picture you painted there friend…

    “Something that is timeless cannot be outdated”…

    June 8, 2015 at 4:01 pm

  5. Indeed WHAT IF…

    I’d kill without remorse but
    Life will be in absolute fear;
    Of a psycho
    taking a liking to me
    Or a child,
    pulling the trigger simply because It can….

    Life indeed will be naked
    and there will be chaos everywhere.

    But if God indeed exists,
    then I woulda lived a double hell
    and died wondering why life…
    was in the first place!

    June 15, 2015 at 8:45 am

  6. Deep…
    Surely there is always consequences..
    Cos as the narrator would do, so would others..
    Thus, he won’t be safe, nor his father, mother, sister and all things beloved to him

    June 21, 2015 at 10:50 pm

    • That’s what these peeps refuse to get…

      Thank you.

      June 22, 2015 at 5:29 am

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