It felt surreal.
As I sat there, in front of that desk and looked at my system – the system from which I had fought, won and lost several battles, I realized I was going to miss it.
Haba Seun; my rational side queried, it’s just a bloody computer.
Indeed it was. Just that.
But it was more. It was a symbol of comfort. Of familiarity. Of dependability.
It was a symbol of safety.
I had sat in front of that computer for over two years, plotting, scheming and dreaming. In all my time of being with it, it never gave me any issues.
Now I was leaving. Heading for parts unknown. Going to places I’ve never been, to do stuff I’ve only done in my imagination.
I was scared.
I was worried. Unhappy.
I looked at that system, and I thought to myself; it’s just a system. In a matter of days, it’ll be faithful and loyal and honest – to another guy!
Bloody system looked at me and nodded. You Damn right; it seemed to say.
So where did that leave me?
It was my last day. Yet, in many ways it was the first day of the rest of my life.
I look at 2014 sorta like that.
There was so much I said I was going to do that I didn’t. So much I did wrong. So much I overdid. So much I missed out on because I was being too careful, too ‘principled’, too hard-headed.
I’m too careful. Too principled. Too hard-headed. Those are some of the things that make me – me.
And as much as I messed up really bad in 2014, I did some real cool things too.
I took my life in my hands. Spent time with love. Shed some weight.
And finally published a book.
I look to parts unknown in 2015. I look to faces – to people unknown. I thank God for familiar faces that haven’t gone away in spite of me, and I pray for those who have.
BecauSe of me.
I think about that. A lot.
I exhale. Square my shoulders. And move on.
For parts unknown – yet familiar.
Thank you for being part of 2014.
See you in 2015.