Last Day

It felt surreal.

As I sat there, in front of that desk and looked at my system – the system from which I had fought, won and lost several battles, I realized I was going to miss it.

Haba Seun; my rational side queried, it’s just a bloody computer.

Indeed it was. Just that.

But it was more. It was a symbol of comfort. Of familiarity. Of dependability.

It was a symbol of safety.

I had sat in front of that computer for over two years, plotting, scheming and dreaming. In all my time of being with it, it never gave me any issues.

Now I was leaving. Heading for parts unknown. Going to places I’ve never been, to do stuff I’ve only done in my imagination.

I was scared.

I was worried. Unhappy.

I looked at that system, and I thought to myself; it’s just a system. In a matter of days, it’ll be faithful and loyal and honest – to another guy!

Bloody system looked at me and nodded. You Damn right; it seemed to say.

So where did that leave me?

It was my last day. Yet, in many ways it was the first day of the rest of my life.

I look at 2014 sorta like that.

There was so much I said I was going to do that I didn’t. So much I did wrong. So much I overdid. So much I missed out on because I was being too careful, too ‘principled’, too hard-headed.

Well.

I’m too careful. Too principled. Too hard-headed. Those are some of the things that make me – me.

And as much as I messed up really bad in 2014, I did some real cool things too.

I took my life in my hands. Spent time with love. Shed some weight.

And finally published a book.

I look to parts unknown in 2015. I look to faces – to people unknown. I thank God for familiar faces that haven’t gone away in spite of me, and I pray for those who have.

BecauSe of me.

I think about that. A lot.

I exhale. Square my shoulders. And move on.

For parts unknown – yet familiar.

Thank you for being part of 2014.

See you in 2015.

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