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Swift Scribbles: By The Way…

There’s this place I like to eat whenever I’m at the office. Or close. It’s a small buka – so small you can travel the length of it in three strides. But you would be fascinated to know that, during rush hour, people wait hours to buy food there.

Of course, there’s speculation about the source of such customer dedication.

Some say it’s juju, that the proprietor; usually a woman, washes her privates into the first set of cookings for the day. A couple of people have actually talked about seeing hair that never came from a human head in their food.

Well. I never saw ‘strange hair’, and I know what female ‘privates’ taste like.

I guess people don’t understand the significance of a neat environment to a buka. They don’t understand that goodwill is one of the most important things in a business – that knowing almost all your customers by name is a huge plus.

And that good and affordable cooking makes all the sense in Nigeria.

Most of the crowd there buy to take away because they understand the constraints of space. A few like me, however, like to sit and enjoy the different smells wafting from the set of coolers and pots placed by the entrance. My seat is usually reserved.

Whenever she saw me coming, she would hail me like “Oga ______ (you already know my name), how na?”

I’d hail her back, just as heartily; “Madam, I dey o. How business?”

She’d answer, “We thank God o. Which one today, usual or special?”

‘usual’ is pounded yam and vegetable soup with two pieces of goat meat and one fish. ‘Special’ is whatever catches my fancy at that moment. Rice, plantain, beans, turkey – whatever, as long as she sold it.

That is usually my one meal of the day, so I like to make a huge fat deal of it. And I never misunderstand the woman’s kindness for more than what it is – someone who genuinely appreciates her customers.

But I never expected the turn of events when I took my new girl…sorry; woman visiting…

18 responses

  1. Aha! I smell a jealous woman sitting behind warmers full of food…..

    August 15, 2014 at 7:29 am

  2. bshaba

    Hmmm. I know of such bukas & now you make me crave Amala, Gbegiri & ewedu *tears*
    Anyway, I think the girlfriend will be too posh & also worry about the familiarity of the foodseller.
    Good story though. Keep up the good work.

    August 15, 2014 at 8:13 am

  3. Yemie

    Uh la la! Looks like someone’s having the hots for her ‘customer’?! That’s so ‘schweet’! *evil grin*.

    Seriously though, with familiarity comes all sorta nonsense! You know, like possessiveness, jealousy, as with all other ‘vices’, and usually, these are done unconsciously and unintentionally too! Its just human nature, wanting to be the one and only all of the time! Undivided attention must always be in the cards! Nicely written piece Sir, let the drama begin already, by all means necessary! LOOL

    August 15, 2014 at 10:57 am

    • So I guess you are jealous and possessive over Seun…ok na…*wide grin*

      August 16, 2014 at 7:39 am

      • Uh…

        August 16, 2014 at 7:49 am

      • Yemie

        *shell shocked* Excuse you?! Really Doc?! No kidding?! Na how I take enter this equation nah?! Abi dem tell you say I be food vendor ni?! I trust you’re in rare form though! Warn yasef o! *straight- faced*

        August 16, 2014 at 8:19 am

      • *quickly and quietly logs out*

        August 16, 2014 at 8:41 am

      • Yemie

        Quit with the theatrics and keep your hands on your keypad Seun, my rage is directed at no other but the slanderer, Primadonna mischief-maker and confusionist Doc spewing arsenic! *SMH*

        August 16, 2014 at 8:49 am

      • *burrows deeper under blanket*

        August 16, 2014 at 8:50 am

      • Yemie

        *spit take*. You’ve gotta be friggin’ kiddin’ me Seun! Not you too! Surely not! Oh Wow! LMAO!

        August 16, 2014 at 8:53 am

      • *raises head from pillow* Me? What did I do?!

        August 16, 2014 at 8:57 am

      • Yemie

        Hmm… yeah, sure….who’s asking?! *shrugs*

        August 16, 2014 at 9:00 am

      • Lol…see as you dey blush….

        August 17, 2014 at 7:27 am

      • Yemie

        *Yimu* Abegiiii!!! Left matter for Matthias! Dat one na story for the gods, courtesy of Olamide, the original badooo himself! LMAO!

        August 17, 2014 at 9:02 am

    • Well…

      Thank you!

      August 16, 2014 at 7:49 am

  4. They reserve special seat for you out of all the hundreds of customers that have been loyal all the time….yet you say you don’t misunderstand…of course you have!

    August 16, 2014 at 7:41 am

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