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Time I

Tap tap tap

Shiny red nails rang on the table, sending all sorts of signals into Chris’ left temple. Watching the woman sitting across him from under shaggy eyebrows, he muttered in distaste.

Women. Hell to live with or without.

He was – or rather, had been practicing the ‘without’ part for some time and he did like it, even though he longed for company of the other kind sometimes. The tap tap tap came again and he was reminded why he had decided; eleven months ago, to try the without part of the story.

Without her.

Agnes. Hell in a skirt, hell on a man.

He looked up from his feet and met her eyes. There was a mocking smile on her face, a smile that said I know what you’re thinking. Sorry I can’t help you.

“I’d rather die,” he mumbled half-aloud.

“Chris? Is there a problem?”

He turned slightly in his chair to face the head of the department. Looking at her creased the middle of his forehead. Temi looked like she had been force-fed into a meat wringer sometime in her teenage years, and as a result she wore her clothes with as much aplomb as a clothes hanger. In them she looked like she could play hide and seek in an empty tin of sardines – no disrespect to the tin.


He liked her voice, however. She sounded like Omawunmi did whenever she was talking in between her songs. He could listen to her all –


He sighed. “You don’t have to yell, Temi. You’re scary enough looking like you look.”

Her jaw muscles clenched and his hand flew to his mouth as he converted the snort about to come out to a cough. Gently, muscles trembling, she put the marker she’d been writing on the board with on the table beside the MacBook she was sharing slides from and left the room, marching quickly and efficiently.

Chris inhaled.

“What are you doing, pretty boy?”

He hated the way the fine hairs on the back of his neck stirred as though a soft wind was blowing through them. Arranging his face into a look of disinterest, he cocked his right eye in Agnes’ direction.

“The girl acts as though someone forgot a bee in her skull after her last lobotomy. If she keeps on with me I’ll probably have to help her remove it. I just can’t guarantee I’ll be as professional as a surgeon would be.”

“Ouch,” Agnes mouthed, red lips forming a pained ‘o’. “That’s a woman you’re talking about.”

Chris snorted. “Makes no difference to me. If she can work as rough as a man, she’s earned the right to play as rough as a man.”

He eyed Agnes skeptically. “Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly become an anti-feminist. You’re poisonous enough without adding that to your resume.”

Agnes chuckled, pink appendage darting out to lick dry lips. “I’m not anti anything darling. In fact, I’m pro everything except anything that’ll hurt Agnes. That’s the only thing I’m anti about.”

“Yeah – you love yourself and yourself alone. We all know that,” Chris blurted, hating the bitterness that weighed his voice down. “Look -forget about it okay?”

“Oga Chris?”

The office boy stuck his around the door Temi walked out through earlier. “Madam Temi say make you join am for office.”

Chris didn’t even twitch. “English, Joe.”

Joe cleared his throat. “Madam Temi says you should come and go and join her in her office.”

“Thank you, Joe. Tell her I’ll be right there.”

The office boy nodded and retraced his steps as Chris looked at Agnes with a question on his face.

She smiled. “The only way to know is to ask, bobo. So go ask.”

Chris stood up and buttoned his jacket, easing himself out from behind the table. “Here goes,” he whispered at Agnes.

She smiled and fluttered fingers in his direction. “Dont hurt her too much, dear.”

He nodded and bounced out.


27 responses

  1. You can write. You can actually really write.

    July 21, 2014 at 8:20 am

  2. Waiting for Time II before I say anything.

    July 21, 2014 at 11:03 am

  3. Intriguing.

    July 21, 2014 at 11:04 am

  4. You are razz.
    Your personality is a razz guy
    and a chauvinist
    and is going to get into trouble except
    he is great at lying
    For masters in business the online way

    July 21, 2014 at 4:46 pm

  5. What’s this Chris’ own nau? Very intriguing… Patiently waiting for Time II and Daughter dating service III. Nice one Seun!

    July 21, 2014 at 6:41 pm

  6. villebilingue

    No part 2?

    July 21, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    • Of course there is.

      Coming soon! Thanks.

      July 21, 2014 at 8:36 pm

  7. villebilingue

    Seun… it was i posted the comment.. I reread and saw the title

    July 21, 2014 at 8:45 pm

  8. Let’s go there!!!!!!

    July 22, 2014 at 1:26 am

  9. Waiting for part 2

    July 22, 2014 at 9:11 am

  10. Ehen… this has caught my attention.

    when is the part 2 coming out again?

    July 22, 2014 at 10:36 am

  11. Tosin

    Are we safe Seun? It’s been a while you posted and i keep refreshing. Look forward to your reappearance soon. I am a silent admirer of your works;)kudos and God bless you, amen.

    July 29, 2014 at 10:21 am

    • Yes we are o its just been crazy. Working on my first full length novel so it’s really occupying my head. But don’t worry – I’m right here.

      Thank you! God bless you too.

      July 29, 2014 at 2:07 pm

  12. Yemie

    This is a very well articulated piece! Short, precise and very well spiced up too! You really got me going till the final line and I’m left wanting for more! Respect!

    Chris should really go get his mouth washed inside out! Moreso, I daresay; he’s barking up the wrong tree here! I mean, He’s the one in dire need of a lobotomy! He should go get his brain checked and a psychological evaluation too. That guy’s poison, gosh! The original Mr Grumpy Rump! He’s got it coming alright! Lolz.

    August 3, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    • Wait na…haba!

      Hehehe. Thank you!

      August 4, 2014 at 3:35 am

  13. You’re back again!

    August 4, 2014 at 11:17 am

    • Uh…never left dear…

      Heh. Thanks!

      August 4, 2014 at 11:49 am

  14. Hi Seun, Not been on the blogging scene for a while now. didn’t realize how much I missed it till I read this. so here we go again following ” TIme”. Favorite part of this one is ” Madam Temi says you should come and go and join her in her office. ROTFL. Well done!

    August 11, 2014 at 12:11 pm

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