Midweek Fix: Can We Get Naked?
There should be ONE PERSON in this world you can be naked with. I mean physically, emotionally, honestly, EVERYTHING-LY.
Naked; I’m talking figuratively and literally.
I love comics by the way.
If you heard this before – indulge me; but I am convinced the first book I EVER read in my life was a comic.
I had a brother who was an avid collector – and something about the pictures and the words just fascinated me. Another thing that got my attention about these characters as I got older was how they faced problems similar to mine.
I thought if I had superpowers, all my problems would vanish in an instant. I could just fly away somewhere I knew nobody and nobody knew me, and I would just be there.
But after reading one particular Spiderman comic where he got beaten within an inch of his life, I realized that contrary to my belief that Spiderman was an escape; however temporary, from Peter Parker’s boring and mundane life, Spiderman also had his problems – albeit more deadly than Peter’s.
Another guy I could relate with was the Hulk – for an entirely different reason. In his early incarnation, the Hulk was a monster – at least so he seemed to everyone else. And as a result, he was angry most of the time – angry and paranoid. He did not trust anyone, and was largely misunderstood.
Boy. Could I relate to that.
But then, The Incredible Hulk found someone who could calm him down. He found someone who he recognized even when he was going through the most aggravated of his rampages. He found someone he recognized even when he was raging out of control.
That someone was/is a woman.
Betty Banner nee Ross, the one great love of his life, the daughter of his greatest enemy General Thunderbolt Ross.
I don’t want to bore you with details – but the bottom line is, Betty is Hulk’s kryptonite. Every time he’s rampaging, out of control – whatever, once Betty comes on the scene, it’s over. The Great Incredible Hulk becomes a baby.
And then, you don’t wanna see Hulk when Betty is in danger…
Let’s bring it home now. Check out the picture.
Imagine someone like The Hulk becoming putty in the arms of a woman he’s taller than; even when sitting on the floor!
I know, I know. It’s just a comic, right? I mean, it’s just like the movies – we see what ‘they’ want ‘us’ to see, right?
But – all the guys reading this – tell me your mind did not go to one particular man/woman when you saw the picture. Tell me you did not think of someone who makes everything okay by just calling you. No matter how rough your day has been – you hear his/her voice and everything is fine.
Which brings us/me back to the intro – There should be ONE PERSON in this world you can be naked with. I mean physically, emotionally, honestly, EVERYTHING-LY. Naked; I’m talking figuratively and literally.
There’s this Lupe Fiasco/Trey Songz collaboration ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’.
In the music video, Lupe is walking on the streets and so on – and he keeps running into different women who have the same face. One is walking her dog, another is a cop, another is a model or something – and then at the end of the video, he walks into this club and he meets the woman whose face all the other women are wearing.
And then she asks, “How was your day?”
And then the viewer finds out that the woman’s dog actually peed on his shoes, the cop was giving him a ticket – there were all kinds of different drama associated with the different women he saw – and then he ends with ‘but I kept seeing you and everything was just fine’.
That’s the power of a woman. The power of a special somebody.
I used to think opening up to a woman – allowing her see your sensitive side is some kind of weakness. But you can only keep up a strong front for so long.
At the end of the day – as Dapo admitted to Yemisi; “Everyone needs to be someone’s baby”.
If you (I mean the guys now) if you have someone who basically makes it okay for you to be honest, for you to be yourself, for you to be ‘weak’, for you to cry after watching a movie like 12 Years A Slave…you better wife that woman.
If you’re married and you cannot be that way with your wife, something is wrong. You better fix it.
That’s right. I said Y-O-U.
I think the biggest obstacle to the naked idea; the idea of being vulnerable with someone else is fear. We have learnt to use people and love things – so we’re afraid of being taken advantage of by people we love, care about and open up to.
The scary part is – sometimes it’s not even that the person leaks or reveals your vulnerability. Sometimes, it’s that they start to use that knowledge you armed them with against you. It could be words, it could be actions, it could be insinuations…they just take the knowledge you shared with them and use it against you – literally.
What can I say? Nothing hurts more than trusting the wrong person.
And honestly, I have been the ‘wrong person’ in relationships. I make mistakes. I take things; I take people for granted. But I am learning to value myself – and it turn value people who value me. I am understanding that life; relationships are privileges – I don’t have the right to friends; I have to earn my friends. And ‘earning’ friends does not mean changing who you are, sometimes it just means letting go of your need to be right, letting go of your need to control, letting go of some temporal gratification to give someone else happiness.
I still miss it plenty times. But I keep trying. And God is not through with me yet!
So. Be grateful for that person you can get naked with without fear, invest in one if you haven’t found yet. The whole of life is a risk – we all have to fail to win sometime or the other.
Everyone needs to be someone’s baby.
Have an amazing week!