Your Stories. My Stories. Our Stories. Please forward all enquiries to

Saving Dapo XV: Finale


Read previous episodes here.



SAVING DAPO - Masthead 15




Yemisi was nervous; watching the door as she was.



She did not want to call Dapo again; she had called him like fifty times in the past hour – and that wasn’t exactly bringing him any closer.



She had to be patient.



Her cocktail was beginning to warm; she put it down gently after taking a long pull from it and put it down – studying the hand she had carried it with.



It was trembling.



Hastily she put the hand in her lap and wished the whole thing with Dapo and his cousin would just disappear.



In fact; she would like to just disappear.



She hadn’t tried to sort through her feelings; every time she thought about Remi she felt as though she was betraying Dapo – and even though it had always been like that; the feeling was ten times worse now she knew they were related.



What do I do?



“The cocktail can’t be that bad,” a familiar baritone spoke from her elbow making her jump in fright. She laughed in spite of herself.



“Trust you to make an entrance,” she said before standing up and turning slightly to hug the tall figure beaming at her. She let the tension ease away from her shoulders and back, relaxing into his embrace and closing her eyes at his scent. “You smell so good,” she said.



Dapo’s laughter rumbled from his chest. “That’s Mosun’s handiwork. The whole world must know I have a sister who just returned to the country.” He released her but held on to her left hand, standing back to look at her from top to bottom, taking in her blue Ankara gown and brown sandals. “You’re really beautiful tonight,” he said with a straight face.



Yemisi looked down shyly – and then looked up, meeting his eyes. “Thank you. You look good yourself.”



And he did, in a white shirt, blue jeans and brown boat shoes. He smiled and handed her into her seat before sitting himself directly opposite her. “I’m sorry I’m late. Traffic is crazy.”



She nodded. “I’m grateful you still came sef. Didn’t you just return from IB?”



“We have plenty to talk about. How did your send-forth go?”



Yemisi looked away, her eyes filling with tears. “It was just sad. You know, sometimes you never know what you mean to people until it’s too late to do anything about it.” Reaching into her silver purse, she pulled out a white handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. “I laughed plenty too.”



She put her unoccupied hand over his. “I missed you there too. Adura wanted so much to meet you – she was hurt when I told her you weren’t coming. And the boss’ speech?” she shook her head. “It would have been easier if you were there.”



Dapo couldn’t resist. “Me – or Remi?”



He saw a flash of hurt appear in her eyes and wished he had not made that crack. She made to pull her hand away but he quickly covered it with his other one. She shook her head, but she stopped pulling away.



“We need to talk about that, Yemisi.”



“I know, Dapo. But whatever it is I’m feeling, I know the difference between you two. And if I say I miss you; Dapo, I’m talking about you. Understand?”



He nodded solemnly. “I know – and I’m sorry I made such a lame joke.”



Yemisi nodded. “That’s okay. I feel guilty myself – because there are times I have wished I hadn’t started anything with you, and I would just have met Remi and everything would be perfect.”



“That wouldn’t make such a great story,” Dapo interjected. “There’s always something bigger over the horizon.”



“But doesn’t that mean we should all keep chasing straws?”



“‘Bigger’ is relative, Yemisi. When you find your ‘bigger’, you and only you can know it. And besides – there’s always the next thing – ‘bigger’.”



She raised both her hands in mock surrender. “You win!”



Dapo signaled the nearest waiter. “Wouldn’t you rather have some ice with that drink – or would just have a new one?” he asked Yemisi.



“Yes; a new one would be good thank you.”



“I want a huge chapman – she would just have a regular cocktail.” He considered for a bit. “I would like some meats too – something I can chew on as I drink,” he said. The waiter nodded and slid off.



“Did you really think I would set you up to meet Remi like that?” he asked the girl sitting in front of him.



She averted her eyes. “I honestly didn’t know what to think! Seeing him at the wedding like that –“ She sighed. “You’re the one who

always says there’s no such thing as coincidence. Really – what would you have thought?”



Dapo shook his head. “I would have trusted you.”



“Don’t be so hard on me, Dapo – “ she broke off as the waiter appeared with their drinks, and sat silently as Dapo carried her drink off the tray and placed it in front of her before carrying his. The waiter bent over and whispered something in his ear. He nodded.



“Meats will be done in a moment,” he said as the waiter slid off again. “Why he thought it necessary to whisper will forever baffle me.” He lifted his drink and took a long pull. “You were asking me not to be hard on you – should we use your actions as a benchmark?”



Yemisi sighed. Dapo was on the warpath – there was no stopping him. In fact, if anything she could expect it to get worse. She looked at the smile playing around his lips and thought to herself how someone so – could be so –



“Don’t mind me – I’m just having myself a bit of fun at your expense.” He stirred his drink with the straw he was holding but he wasn’t looking at it. Instead, his eyes were on her face.



“You know one thing I’ve been meaning to ask you since that awkward moment?”



At her nod he continued. “I was wondering – were you that upset because you thought I had something to do with your meeting with Remi; or was it just guilt?”



Yemisi started from her seat; mouth half-open in denial – and then she slumped back, wrapping her arms around shoulders that suddenly felt really cold.



“You know,” she sounded like a turned-down radio set. “That’s one question I have been asking myself – but I haven’t been willing to look too closely at the answer. ‘Why was I so hard on you’? I knew; deep down you couldn’t have done anything that elaborate; too many parts of it depended on coincidence – which you and I know you’re not exactly a fan of –“



She broke off as Dapo pointed at her drink. The ice was a lot less than she remembered; so she lifted it and took a sip, enjoying the cold liquid as it streamed down her throat and seemed to make fluttering nerves somewhat steadier. She watched as the same waiter set a steaming plate of meat in front of her; and set her drink down before reaching for one.



“Don’t look so serious – it’s not that serious.”



Yemisi slowly bit into the piece of meat, enjoying the sticky warmth of various seasonings as they flooded her mouth. “Hmmm hmm,” she moaned out loud, looking at Dapo through half-closed lids. “This is really good!”



He smiled in response. “They should feel complimented – a top chef just approved their cooking!”



She looked at Dapo with shinny, grateful eyes; “It is true isn’t it?”



He nodded wisely, understanding what she meant. “Yes indeed it is. How does it feel?”



“It feels – surreal. I still wake up feeling like I should get going else I’ll be stuck in early-morning traffic; and then I remember I’m self-employed. An entrepreneur.”



Dapo raised his glass. “Hear hear!” and drained it, sucking away at the straw long after the glass was empty. Yemisi could barely contain her laughter.



“So what’s next, CEO?” he asked after their laughter had subsided.



“Well, I feel some self-development is in order so I registered for some cooking courses; immediately after which I’ll be headed to Poise for some on grooming too.”



Dapo nodded. “I like that. Maybe you’ll show up a judge on the next Knorr Taste Quest.”



Yemisi smiled. “Who knows?”



Dapo nodded and for the next few moments the only sounds from their table were clinking glasses and chewing jaws. Yemisi raised her drink to her lips and eyed Dapo over the rim of the glass.



“I like it when you smile, you know. Your face relaxes – and you look so young.”



He looked away from her piercing gaze in embarrassment. “Well ah – thank you. It’s really nice to hear that.”



She slowly lowered her glass and shifted uncomfortably. “You know, I’m really fond of you – I really care and worry; which is what prompted me to ask you out in the first place.”



“I know that,” Dapo said quietly.



“It did hurt when you said what you said – about saying yes to me when you could have said no. It made me feel as though you were…as though you said yes only because you felt sorry for me.”



“Yeah. That was a really thoughtless thing to say – and I really didn’t mean it. I agreed because I wanted to date you too; that and no other reason. I’m really sorry.”



Yemisi pressed his hand briefly. “It’s okay,” she sighed. “It’s okay. I have grown so much between then and now – I mean, I now have my own business to say the least.” She looked at him, her heart in her eyes. “Dapo, the time we spent together was…it redefined all of my ideas concerning what a relationship should be like – should be about. I learned a lot about myself, about guys and stuff – and it made me a better person because as timid as I was, as insecure as I used to be, I saw something I wanted – something I wanted so much I did not consider the consequences. I just went for it. And boy – am I glad I did.” She looked away, an intimate smile caressing her lips.



Dapo had never seen her look any more beautiful.



“I love you, Dapo. I always have and I always will. There’s this – there’s this kind of steadfastness you have; a kind of ‘always there’ presence that I have come to rely on. I know I don’t have to look too far to find you; I know you’re always somewhere around me. I have come to love that – about you, I mean.”



Her light skin darkened around her cheeks and she lowered her eyes briefly before facing him again. “I love you. Maybe not the want-to-jump-on-you-and-rip-your-clothes-off type, but the I-feel-safe-in-your-arms type.”



Dapo cleared his throat. “Gee thanks. That’s really encouraging – I’m only good enough for brotherly hugs!”



But he smiled at her brightly and held onto her hand.



“I’d rather have brotherly hugs than none.” He inhaled sharply. “Yemisi, I know how you feel about me. And it’s okay. We did find something – in fact; we found plenty things. Don’t you know how easy it is to forget people who matter? This whole thing has made me and you closer – I have rediscovered a friendship of life; for life. I’m thankful for that.”



Yemisi’s eyes watered. “Are we breaking up?”



A throaty chuckled emanated from Dapo’s chest. “Do friends – do siblings break up?”








The car taking Remi to the airport was quiet. The occupants were lost in thoughts of various variations.



Dapo, behind the steering wheel was thinking about that night three weeks ago – the night he returned from Ibadan and saw Yemisi.



It went well – all things considered.



Yeah. That it did.



I think it was particularly thoughtful we did not mention that Mope is still single.



Yeah. That would have been a bad idea. Even if it wasn’t meant to be, no woman likes the idea that another is preferred to her.



That – is correct.



So – I would expect that after so many dates Yemi and Remi would have plenty to say to each other.



We expect that too.



Or maybe they’ve said everything.



Maybe that too.




Remi; sitting beside Dapo was softly caressing the hand in his grip and thinking about the owner of the hand.



This is crazy. This is stupid. How can I be this in love with this girl?



She’s so sweat, so calm, so kind, so considerate. All soft and firm at once.



I wish I didn’t have to return so early. I wish I could just tell her how I feel – but I’m worried she might start to feel like some

family heirloom. Like family hand-me-downs.



But man…



However did Dapo let her go so easily?



Who cares? My luck.



But Dapo na one kain guy sha o! And wait…



Is she over him sef?





Yemisi; seated behind the two of them was also lost in thoughts of her own.



She was thinking about the guy rubbing her hand.



What does this guy want sef?



Just rubbing my hand as if it’s an ATM card.



She chuckled quietly at her own joke.



And became thoughtful again.



But what does he want?



Takes me to the cinema – and spends the whole movie holding my hand. Na hand-hold I wan chop?!



At least make a move. Or say something. Or say something more.



He keeps looking in my eyes and sighing.



Would have grabbed and kissed him too – the way the butterflies were misbehaving.



I had a rethink in time though – and I concluded it’ll be wise to wait. Let someone else do the asking for a change.



She looked up and met Dapo’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He smiled and winked at her.



“So why are you guys quiet?”



Remi jumped and let go of the hand he had been holding on the far side of his seat as though it was red hot. Dapo smiled as Yemisi

blushed and looked out of the window. He adjusted the rear-view mirror and cleared his throat.



“I suggest the two of you go check in – or at least Yemisi help Remi check in while I look for a place to park.”



Yemisi looked around, startled. They were in front of the departure area of Murtala International.



Aware of some trembling in her thighs, she shot Dapo a grateful look through the mirror before scrambling out of the car on Remi’s




They both stood and watched their cupid drive off and then walked towards the entrance; Yemisi grabbing her companion’s hand.



“I still can’t over the fact that you’re traveling with a backpack,” she stated as they cleared the policemen at the entrance.



Remi shrugged. “I wasn’t planning to stay for long – this long sef.”



“What changed your mind?”



He eyed her from his ‘Idris Elba’ height. “You really think you need to ask that?”



She nodded – and then they were at the Arik checking-in section. “I’ll be right back,” He said as he walked towards the pretty attendant who was grinning, leaving a disgruntled Yemisi standing at the line, arms folded against her chest.



“When is he going to kiss you? Shall I ask him?”



Yemisi tried to look stern but failed miserably, smiling up at Dapo as he materialized beside her. “Who send you message?” she asked.



“I want to know – that’s all. Can’t I ask?”



“No you can’t,” Yemisi answered, hugging his arm. “He should take his time – all the time he wants or needs so it won’t as though someone helped him make up his mind or coerced him into something he’d rather not be doing.”



Dapo eyed her. “All of a sudden you’re so smart.”



She chuckled. “That’s what saving Dapo did for this woman. Made her wiser and stronger – more mature.”



“Saving Dapo? What’s that – a Nollywood movie?”



Yemisi punched his shoulder lightly. “You never know.”



She rested her head against his shoulder and watched as Remi walked over.



“What happens now?”



Remi looked everywhere but at Yemisi. “Now I’m supposed to – “



Yemisi; who was hanging onto every word Remi was saying did not see the almost imperceptible nod Dapo gave over her head. The only thing she knew was that Remi stopped talking and gently took her hand.






But he was already walking away from them.



Remi looked at Yemisi. “I guess maybe I didn’t know what to say to you, Yemisi. You have to admit this is one helluva strange







He scratched his jaw. “Yeah – I mean, who would have thought I would run into a girl in an eatery, fall in love with her – only to find that she’s my cousin’s girl?”



“Yeah! I mean – waitaminute,” Yemisi interrupted herself. “What did you say?”



“I said who would have thought…”



She waved her hand impatiently. “I heard all that. I mean the almost-last part.”



Remi grinned. “Hmm…it went something like…” he leaned closer to her and whispered; “I have fallen in love with you, Yemisi. Totally, completely…”



She shook away his hand. “That’s what you should said since, you idiot!” She said as she slowly slipped her arms around his neck. Remi laughed as they kissed.






And Dapo, who was watching from the confectionary stands shook his head, grabbed the Bounty chocolate bar he had been struggling with for the past minute and walked away.



He was not smiling.





Yemisi snuggled in Remi’s arms, heart tripping a mile a minute. “So how long are you leaving me for?”



“It won’t be too long – maybe five months at most,” Remi winced as he saw the hurt that flashed in her eyes. Maybe he should have given her a non-committal answer.



“At least I have something to look forward to,” she answered, tangling her fingers with his. “Remi, I love you too. You know, sometimes those words sound like clichés and repeated phrases – but they are true sometimes too – and they have never been

truer for me than now.”



He bent his head slightly and kissed her, and did not stop till it seemed as though she was catching a bad case of vertigo. “Wait for me, Yemi. Wait.”



“I will.”



Remi smiled and looked over her head for his cousin. “Where is this bullheaded – “



“I think it’s time,” Yemisi said in a trembling voice – and pointed to a couple who were scrambling towards the departure point.

They had been ahead of Remi on the check-in line.



“Time to go, cousin.” Dapo spoke from Yemisi’s elbow making her jump.



“What is wrong with you sef?” she freed her right hand from Remi’s embrace and hit Dapo in the chest with it. “Just be disappearing and reappearing like one thief!”



He chuckled dryly. “I have been standing behind the two of you since – your romance has been turning my belly is why I kept quite.” He winked at Yemisi. “Time to go, cousin,” he said again.



Remi nodded. “I know. Okay.” He bent at the waist and planted a soft kiss on Yemisi’s lips.






Remi broke off and pulled his cousin in a hug. “You don’t have to tell me anything;” Dapo said. “You don’t tell me to take care of my friend. You behave yourself.”



Remi pulled away from the hug, intending to swing away but Dapo pulled him back. “Behave yourself,” he said again.



“Why are you repeating yourself again and again?” Yemisi asked, pushing herself into Remi’s arms.



“Because he does not hear anything once,” Dapo answered, scowl marring his otherwise smooth forehead. “I’ll be waiting for you over there,” he told Yemisi and walked off.




Standing as he was, thinking about Mope as he was, Dapo did not notice Yemisi till he felt a hand pull his sleeve. He turned and there she was.



“Hey, you – “



He broke off the moment his eyes met hers.



She looked like she ought to look – tears in her eyes, smudged lipstick and all; but there was something more – something that

made her eyes shine like stars.



She looked like she was seeing things.



“Hey…are you okay?”



She swallowed and nodded repeatedly for a few seconds before she could frame an answer.



“Yes…em…yes. I’m okay.” She paused. “At least I think so.” She looked up at Dapo, smiling brightly as tears slowly started trickling down her cheeks. “Your cousin just asked me to marry him.”



*************************************************THE END*******************************************************

Thank you so much for staying with us through this journey!

We hope you won’t leave!

Have an amazing week.


55 responses

  1. Seuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Coming after you with my machete!
    Well done.
    But I’m still coming after u with my machete.
    Good job!
    But I’m still coming after u with my machete

    May 12, 2014 at 8:19 am

    • *quietly takes flight to Chibok*


      May 12, 2014 at 8:44 am

  2. Yemi

    Sincerely Seun this is bad o. Why now. Good work anyway. Keep it up

    May 12, 2014 at 8:38 am

  3. miss B

    Seen mind ya self!!!!!!!!! I want moreeeee

    May 12, 2014 at 8:56 am

    • How about if you mind me?

      Hehehehe! Thank you so much!

      And – more is coming!

      May 19, 2014 at 5:33 am

  4. bshaba

    This is exactly what i expected a finale to read like, i’m almost in tears.
    My predictions were right too, i knew Yemisi and Dapo couldn’t be lovers.
    Great job on writing these amazing 15 episodes with the ball held up every week. Did you write this by yourself or are the names on the banner head some of the writers?

    I have just one wish, that one day i can birth my love for the romantic genre in creative writing like Seun Odukoya. Keep up the good work bro.

    May 12, 2014 at 9:27 am

    • There’s a lot more to this kind of stuff than just writing. The people up there contribute time and resources to the success of this project.

      Thank you so much, Bukky. Your words bring the sun out brighter.

      May 12, 2014 at 9:46 am

  5. Hmmmmmmmm

    Seun Seun

    You ‘af try…


    So, which characters are continuing???

    May 12, 2014 at 10:41 am

    • Well. I haven’t been informed!

      Thank you plenty!

      May 12, 2014 at 5:02 pm

  6. No. No no no.

    We are not amused. We do not like Remi.

    NO! Ess nor good. Dapo will now go back to that tramp that freed him. He and Yemisi deserve to be together!
    And which kain yeye loving up is Remi doing that he has already proposed?? Trash.

    We demand justice!

    May 12, 2014 at 11:03 am

  7. Gloria A

    Finally, the end! This is one touching story, I’m almost close to tears, I thought Dapo and Yemisi would end up together, too bad they didn’t. I really had a thing for that Remi guy, actually liked him in a way but as painful as it may seem, I’m happy Yemisi found love in Remi, and I hope Dapo finds someone truly deserving of him, don’t want him going back to that Mope. Very lovely series Seun, enjoyed every bit of it. Well done! Hoping to read a new series from you soon.

    May 12, 2014 at 2:25 pm

  8. Gloria A

    Finally, the end! This is one touching story, I’m almost close to tears. I thought Dapo and Yemisi would end up together, too bad they didn’t. As sad as it may seem, I really had a thing for Remi, liked him in a way, and I’m happy Yemisi found love in him. As for Dapo, I hope he finds someone truly deserving of him, don’t want him going back to that Mope. Very lovely series Seun, enjoyed every bit of it, well done! Hoping to read a new one from you soon….

    May 12, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    • Can someone please be nice and tell me what Mope did wrong?!?!

      Hehehe! Thank you so much.

      New one coming soon…

      May 19, 2014 at 5:36 am

  9. tolu.nimi

    awwwwwwwwwwwww…… so much for a perfect ending. this is really sweet, seun. thank you for 15 weeks of sheer awesomeness.
    p.s: when is the next one coming up? I can hardly wait

    May 12, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    • Thank you so much for keeping a date with us all the way. You’re awesome.

      Next one? Pretty soon…

      May 12, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      • tolu.nimi

        my fingers are crossed…

        May 12, 2014 at 6:03 pm

  10. Wonderful Finale…i’m very impressed Dapo, sorry Seun…this was a wonderful ride i had with you. 15 episodes of utter bliss and roller-coaster emotional rides. This was the ending i envisaged, which makes it a very wonderful piece.


    May 12, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    • Wowzer!

      Thank you. Very much!

      May 12, 2014 at 7:17 pm

      • *this wasn’t the ending i envisaged*
        Had to correct the typo, your kinda lyrical genius isn’t in the least bit predictable.

        May 13, 2014 at 8:24 am

  11. #BringBackOurDapo

    May 12, 2014 at 6:23 pm

  12. Wait, so, Mope can just come back and spoil my three months of sizzling romance with Dapo? I’m just supposed to forget that magical night on the beach? Mba! No. No. I can’t. *sobs *

    May 12, 2014 at 6:26 pm

    • Em…but no be Mope spoil am o!

      Hehehehe! Thank you!

      May 12, 2014 at 7:18 pm

  13. favour

    Seun, I will tell my mummy for you oh.ahan ahan, how can u jst go and give seun the gehl, wat did he do 2deserve her?
    Well, I guess that’s the relaity of life.e ku ise,next story please.

    May 13, 2014 at 6:41 am

    • Don’t tell mummy o.

      Hehehe. Thank you!

      May 13, 2014 at 6:45 am

  14. Whao didnt expect that. Nice twist though. Now i want more

    May 13, 2014 at 10:05 am

    • You’ll get more soon enough!

      Thank you for staying!

      May 13, 2014 at 10:06 am

  15. phew! Quite satisfied. I’ve always preferred the “want-to-jump-
    on-you-and-rip-your-clothes-off” type of love.
    Thanks Seun.

    May 13, 2014 at 11:20 am

  16. Hmmmm not sure im very happy with this ending yet. Dapo is still not safe. I guess there might be another part. But great story sha.

    May 13, 2014 at 11:30 am

  17. Taiwo

    And this entire series just made my day…maybe the week even. By Friday, maybe I’d get back to you on that… but u did one Ojoro there o. Why will Remi just come and steal the girl away? Ah ahn! Now i’m thinking maybe i shd propose to….nah, i’ll pass.
    Thanks for this Seun. PS…i’ll only be reading when you post the finale on each story. I doubt i can hold on for weeks to know what happens at the end. Some patience are just killing jare and i just can’t afford to die every week.
    Looking forward to the next one *winks*. Well done

    May 13, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    • Wow. Thank you.

      You should propose to…o!


      May 13, 2014 at 3:37 pm

  18. Hmmm.
    In saving Dapo, she saved herself…nice!

    May 13, 2014 at 5:20 pm

  19. Tedy

    I wanna cry. I so much luv Yemisi nd Dapo 2geda. Who d fuck is Remi to carry d bride away. I envy ur talent Seun. Nyc ending but e stil dey pain me ooo.

    May 13, 2014 at 8:44 pm

  20. Gloria A

    I’m happy Yemisi found love in Remi, cx I actually liked that dude in a way. As for Dapo, as much as I feel sorry for him, he’s indeed a wonderful person and I hope he finds someone truly deserving of him and not that Mope of a girl. Very lovely series Seun, enjoyed every bit of it. Hoping to read a new series from u soon. Ciao!

    May 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    • Why are y’all mad at Mope though?!

      Hm. Thank you so much!

      May 14, 2014 at 2:47 pm

  21. Debo

    awwww what a lovely story… she actually saved dapo and also remodeled herself, that was why dapo could handle this breakup in a better way..
    But Seun I dey vex ooo, must Dapo go back to Mope?? I was expecting more episodes.
    Thanks for the piece dear.. Thumbs up!!

    May 15, 2014 at 8:26 am

    • He has to be with someone na.

      Or wait – can he come to you?!

      Hehehehe. Thank you plenty!

      May 15, 2014 at 10:38 am

  22. Hello Seun. Howdy?

    I finished reading your series a while ago and I thought it would be best I leave without any comment because I don’t think it’s something that you might like but I thought I should just share my own opinion since I’m also a writer who would also appreciate a critical comment on a work if I just finished just a series like you did.

    One good turn deserves another aye?

    But the thing is I don’t want to do it here just in case you might not like it. It’s your space and your story. I just have my own little contributions concerning the plot and the twist. Should I shoot you a mail instead?

    Tk kia

    May 17, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    • You can send me a mail, or you can do it here. I appreciate either way.


      May 17, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      • Okay…

        Here goes.

        The story was good. It had a good plot, I suspected something like this would happen looking at the theme and when Remi was brought into the story, I was like Okay, I think Yemisi might fall for him but there was something missing. Something that did not hit the right chord with me. Yemisi and Dapo are the protagonists right? and Yemisi is like the Heroine, but to me, you did not develop Remi’s character enough for us to root for him. You brought him in like in the middle of the story hereby introducing Dapo first.
        Have you noticed that when watching a movie or reading a book, the protagonist is shown or introduced first, why? Because they want us to fall in love with that protagonist.

        I believe when writing a story, we have the ability to make ppl like a particular someone or dislike a particular someone. The ending was okay don’t get me wrong, but while reading it I was like…, ahn ahn, from where did Remi just come and claim Yemisi? What did he do to make him the hero of the day, why must he be the one to take the Heroine’s heart if I don’t have enough ‘heroic’ acts from him, something I can root for, something I can lay claim to and say “okay, alright, Yemisi deserves this guy even if he might not be the best man out there.” But you denied us that privilege and it looked like an unexpected epilogue where somethings have happened behind the scenes and you expected us to get the gist of how things went.

        I think what is missing is a balance. That’s to me sha. It’s almost like a deus ex machina but not entirely because I did not see anything special in Remi’s character to end up with Yemisi.

        Asides that, I think there were also some unecessary statements made and some did not look like conversations that could occur between people. Dapo is handsome no doubt about that, but you making the doctor which he hardly knows say it in how many minutes they’ve met sounds ‘off’ for me. I believe there were other ways you could have made that obvious to us but not that. Like the instance where the father mentioned he could still make the doctor ‘trip’ could have been the opportunity to say He has his father’s looks and maybe somewhere along the line, put it in subtly but don’t make it too conspicous.

        The descriptions you used too were good and you know I admire your writing but sometimes, using words to replace the word ‘said’ like ‘ejaculated’ can take one off balance though I know they mean two things, in the medical term(majorly) and to utter abruptly but for the sake of your audience so as not to take me out of the story’s context, use words that are ‘commonly’ used.

        So, I guess this is my 2 cents. You helped me with a few corrections when I was writing my story last year and it was really appreciated. I’m glad you did. 🙂

        I just don’t want to read a story and say ‘thumbs up’ or ‘well done’ because as a writer myself, I don’t like those statements. I would prefer an analytical view that would tell me you read my story, enjoyed it and have a few cents to put down and if there are places with loopholes, please point them out.


        May 17, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      • Noted.

        Thank you for your time!

        May 17, 2014 at 6:25 pm

  23. How am I just seeing this? You did say it was ending sha. Now I feel guilty ‘cos all I have to say is good job! *sigh*

    May 19, 2014 at 7:55 am

  24. aaaaaaaaaaaah *crying. Seun what is this? its not funny at all. i am pissed right now. how did dapo and yemisi end like that. go sef

    May 20, 2014 at 3:34 pm

  25. Foster

    From the comments it is obvious your story had the desired effect on the audience. But I agree with glowingscenes on the insufficient character development for Remi. Then also try as much as possible to correct the typos. We don’t really know what Mope did but just because Dapo was portrayed as a broken man (as a result of her leaving him) at the start of the story, most of us had automatically hated her. In all, great work. It was genuinely enjoyable.

    May 23, 2014 at 9:34 pm

  26. If I may add my two cents too Seun, yes, remi’s character was not properly developed to have deserved the heroine. Now as a fan, I really do not understand why folks are hating up on Mope(she was atually the one dumped remember guys by DAPO!) Remi and Yemisi ummmmm, sweet but I wanted remi out of the picture with Mope coming back single…I would have loved to see how Dapo woulda handled that! Remi in no way deserves Yemi but its your angle and I enjoyed it all the way. Thanks for writing.

    June 4, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    • Hehehe.

      Who’s this story about sef?

      Thank you!

      June 4, 2014 at 12:51 pm

  27. Yemie

    Spoiler Alert! What the flippin’ heck just happened here??? You’re dead meat, Mr Odukoya! What were you thinking?! Not quite the way I anticipated events would turn out. I mean, where does Yemisi get off asking Dapo out, leading him on and sailing into the sunset with his cousin, Remi?! She’s a Man-eater, the Wench! LMAO

    A great series nonetheless. The convos were just ‘tapping’, very hilarious and upbeat! The plot, unprecendented! Kudos Sir, this episode’s quite the wrap! *SMH* LOL

    June 18, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    • Hmmm.

      Thank you. So much!

      Spoiler alert though…see today’s post!

      June 18, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s