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The Seven-Year Orgasm I


That something; the something that always pops up where you’re about to make a really stupid mistake popped up at the same time Tiwa’s caramel breasts jumped out of the azure bra and into his face.


The something said you’re going to regret this.


The other something in between his legs answered; regret is so overrated.


Segun hesitated. His right hand didn’t, reaching and grasping a left appendage that was both firm and soft at the same time.


There’s no clearer way to illustrate contradictions than with a woman’s body; he thought.


And with that, the busybody something shut up.


It hadn’t been easy; turning Tiwa down routinely. No one agreed with his decision; everyone seemed to think he was mad and so on because Tiwa was…Tiwa wasn’t the kind of girl a regular guy turned down. To quote Jide the office jester; my guy, you wan leave Vitafoam go dey sleep ontop mat?! You dey mad?


And Segun wouldn’t argue. So as far as appearances, he was indeed mad.


He also was the only one who understood how his skin came alive whenever she was near; came alive with unsavory sensations. How it seemed as though it was trying to get away from his skeleton – run away and keep running. He couldn’t explain it.


He almost got in trouble too. Trouble with the boss who thought part of his responsibilities was opening branches between the thighs of new female recruits – ugly or otherwise; and resented anyone who argued. He had called Segun into his office one day and told him without mincing words; Segun, if you like your job here you’ll leave that girl alone. You hear?


Segun nodded and slammed the man’s office door on his way out. What the hell?


Everybody knew he was not interested in Tiwa. Something told him constantly to stay away from her and he listened. Besides, there was that knowledge that at least two guys had had their way with her at work.


At least two. The MD and one other person.


He did not like leavings. So he stayed away from Tiwa as much as he could. Which wasn’t much; considering he had to walk past her desk every day to get to his cubicle, but he was thankful that he got to close his door and shut out her leering visage.


He really didn’t like her.


So he pretty much ignored Tiwa and minded his business. And then came that afternoon that changed everything. Everything has far as he and Tiwa were concerned. But it was interesting to note that neither he nor Tiwa had anything to do with what happened that day.


At least, not at first.



Apart from her out-and-about sexuality, Tiwa was quite brilliant. She was efficient in her department and she was well-liked by the customers. Many-a-time people turned back because Tiwa wasn’t available.


So it only followed that when the head office asked for two people to train, the MD sent Tiwa and Segun to Abuja. Tiwa because she earned it, and Segun because he was the head of his department.


And so they went.


And Segun began to see Tiwa in another light – watching her presentation after presentation and her obvious genius came through. He still wasn’t interested in sleeping with her – but he grudgingly began to respect her. Even though he asked himself if she’s this brilliant why does she sleep around?


There was no answer.


Their fourth day in Abuja classes ended early – and so they were back at the hotel a bit after four. Segun was bored, and even Watsapp with his best friend Hauwa didn’t help. It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen much of Abuja.


Hauwa said Why don’t you be nice and take Tiwa out?


He was going to argue – but then he paused and thought about it. Why not?


So he made arrangements for a car via the hotel and called Tiwa via intercom. She was pretty excited about it and told him she’d be ready in thirty minutes.


At exactly thirty minutes his intercom rang, and he went to her room to get her – and the sight of her shocked his jaw away from his mouth.


She wasn’t showing any unnecessary skin, she just looked really beautiful – the kind of beauty bankers take for granted because all they see each other in is suits. She looked like the last spoon of a favorite meal. Good.


He said as much as she gave him her hand. She smiled, lowered her eyes coquettishly and whispered thank you.


Their driver was an old man and a tour guide as he took them around – showing them Aso Rock from a distance – and then Zuma Rock which was the centre of a debate between the FCT and Niger State – as to whose borders it fell behind. And then Churchgate, the tallest building and its under-construction competition – the new Towers.


Somewhere along their journey it became the most natural thing for Tiwa to cuddle up with Segun, and he hadn’t fought her. In fact, he found it quite pleasant.  They talked about this and that – him talking to the top of her head and she responding to his midriff. At some point however, she missed a remark he made and looked up, asking him to repeat himself. He looked down and found her lips tantalizingly close…


The cliche happened.


He would remember later…much much later, thinking at that moment where his feelings of revulsion and disgust went to. But in that moment, even though it occurred to him, it came as a by the way kind of thing, something out of the deep well of his subconscious mind. So he paid as much attention to it as a lion pays grass.


Calmly, Tiwa took her lips away from his and asked the man take them back to the hotel.  And then, his thighs took the weight of her legs and they resumed kissing.


Imagine the receptionist’s surprise when the couple they had been speculating about, gossiping and even praising came in tangled with each other like hair on a hairbrush. She watched as they maneuvered their way cleaning past her desk and into the corridor – and quickly picked up the intercom to announce the event.


Before they came up for air, they were on Tiwa’s bed and both of them were wondering the same thing from different angles. Tiwa giggled cutely, pushing Segun away. Let me dress more appropriately; she intoned.


He had another moment, another calm period as he looked around the room and wondered if he was doing the right thing. And then Tiwa reappeared and rationale thought vanished like these words when you close your eyes.


His heartbeat steadied as he kissed her, arms wrapped around her body like they belonged there. Gently he lay her down and divested her of what little covering she had left. And then he lay with her, two bodies working together for a common goal.


Or so it seemed.


Segun was having the time of his life, floating on a soft, rhythmic bed feeling like he was being massaged from the inside. There was a bright spot somewhere in the distance, a bright spot that got progressively bigger as Tiwa’s noises got louder.  He lowered his head, silencing her with his lips till the feelings got to him too and the muscles in his lower back and thighs slowly tightened and he was suddenly swept in a wave towards the white-hot spot that had grown so big it was the only thing he could see…


That was the last thing he remembered for seven years.




70 responses

  1. Seven years bawo? There’s a sequel to this I believe.

    October 21, 2013 at 4:57 am

  2. crossb1

    Tiwa the huntress!

    October 21, 2013 at 5:21 am

  3. Holy shit!!!

    This peice is pure class. Great one friend!

    Waiting for the sequel…there’s a sequel, right?

    October 21, 2013 at 5:25 am

    • Hehehehehehe!

      Thank you Malcolm S. Yes there is!

      October 21, 2013 at 5:48 am

  4. Pingback: The Seven-Year Orgasm I | Crossb1's Blog

  5. Looooooool. what?

    October 21, 2013 at 7:25 am

  6. I don’t normally read this kinda write-up but dis very one got me glued to my not-so-comfortable seat… Kudos man…

    October 21, 2013 at 7:28 am

  7. Gloire

    Reading this didn’t bore me & I’m wondering, was he mad for 7 years? In a coma or what?
    Good writing style.
    This is well written.
    Can’t wait for the sequel!

    October 21, 2013 at 8:05 am

  8. Gloire

    Reading this didn’t bore me. Each sentence led to the next & at the end, I’m wondering, was he mad for 7 years? In a coma or what?
    Good writing style, can’t wait for the sequel!

    October 21, 2013 at 8:10 am

    • I’m wondering myself.

      Thank you so much.

      October 21, 2013 at 10:15 am

  9. M

    * dancing*
    Another series yaaaayyyyy!!!!!

    October 21, 2013 at 8:32 am

  10. ‘She looked like the last spoon of a favorite meal.’ Your literary expressions aяє killing. Gave my reading a tantalizing edge.

    Chop chop with tнaт sequel.

    October 21, 2013 at 9:00 am

  11. Interesting read. Truth, logic doesn’t always win. Good job. I look forward to the episodes that will follow. Cheers

    October 21, 2013 at 9:04 am

  12. Nneka

    Hmmm! Hmmmmm! Hmmmmm!! Seun has started another wahala in our heads!

    October 21, 2013 at 10:08 am

  13. Long time no read, seun. This your mine-field ehn… Your construction is neat, though I spotted several redflags. Kaare o! 🙂

    October 21, 2013 at 11:06 am

    • Na so na – I apologise for the typos!

      Thank you!

      October 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

  14. Wow.



    Oga, I nor know say your head sef dey for romance o!

    October 21, 2013 at 11:12 am

    • Actually, that’s all I’ve been writing lately.

      Thank you!

      October 21, 2013 at 11:57 am

      • Inspired?

        Now I’m beginning to think an eve was behind the fresh G I walked into at the mall last time out.

        October 21, 2013 at 12:04 pm

      • Heh.

        October 21, 2013 at 3:00 pm

  15. Wow. Rather enthralling. Awaiting the sequel(s).

    October 21, 2013 at 11:22 am

  16. Hmm… I’m itching to find out just ‘How’ he remembered only that light for seven years. It must have been a bloody good come!

    October 21, 2013 at 1:20 pm

  17. Splendid, absolutely wonderful.
    But, this 7 year thing na serious one o, na to wait till the next episode

    October 21, 2013 at 4:16 pm

  18. I like that line about the vita foam and the mat (._.

    Bring in the sheaves already, Seun!

    October 21, 2013 at 8:05 pm

  19. ‘She looked like the last spoon of a favorite meal. Good.’
    I liked that line. Quite splendid!

    October 22, 2013 at 7:24 am

  20. next episode please…

    October 22, 2013 at 10:31 am

  21. Reblogged this on zaphnathpaaneah05 and commented:
    this is one story that will keep you enthralled from the very first line.

    October 22, 2013 at 10:35 am

  22. Typographical and contextual errors took away a bit for me, but I enjoyed it. When can I expect a sequel?

    October 22, 2013 at 11:52 am

  23. Nice one bro. Kudos and I’ll be waiting for the next phase

    October 22, 2013 at 12:19 pm

  24. Hmmmm…..

    October 22, 2013 at 1:33 pm

  25. My word, you’re consistently awesome! Your literary expressions and sense of humour are great! I’ll forgive you for ending this on a high note of suspense, since it’s a series. Very well written Sir.

    October 22, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    • Aw.

      Thank you so much. I’m honored.

      Bless God.

      October 22, 2013 at 3:39 pm

  26. You know you did a good job with this piece, so keep it up!

    October 22, 2013 at 3:35 pm

  27. One word: Sequel

    October 22, 2013 at 3:40 pm

  28. Nurain

    I felt as though I was reading a story in 3D. You really know how to arrest one’s attention. I actually waited till today, when my attention will be uninterrupted, to read it, and I’m glad I did.
    I really am looking forward to the sequel(s).

    October 24, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    • Thank you so much.

      Monday. God willing.

      October 24, 2013 at 12:45 pm

  29. Nur'ayn

    Reblogged this on On wooden leaves, my thoughts live….

    October 24, 2013 at 9:32 pm

  30. Seun, what can I say ooo? I had to read this! Nice delivery…The audio book of your write up would be great! Wouldn’t mind giving that a try for you.

    October 28, 2013 at 10:20 am

    • Wow.

      Thank you so much. I appreciate.

      Let’s talk then!

      October 28, 2013 at 10:48 am

  31. your writing style is too good to be true. point me in the direction of the full book. nice

    October 28, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    • Aw..

      Bless God! Thank you!


      October 28, 2013 at 3:12 pm

  32. Classic tale,

    November 1, 2013 at 3:25 am

  33. chai…and I missed this story all this while!!! ontop that one, the disaster proximity always brings ehn! chai deris God ooo!!!

    September 5, 2014 at 12:23 pm

  34. Oluwatosin Adeshokan

    You can’t be mean.
    What happened?
    How did it end?


    This is GOLD!

    May 21, 2015 at 12:50 pm

    • Hey. Thanks man.

      The other parts are there. Check em out and please share!

      May 21, 2015 at 12:51 pm

  35. ayo inika

    Smooth. Like that you kept it PG.

    October 21, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    • That’s what I do ma’am. Good to have you here.

      October 21, 2015 at 7:10 pm

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